


Shimmering Wolf

by ReenaCatheryn



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-04-26 14:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14404152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReenaCatheryn/pseuds/ReenaCatheryn
Summary: Bad Wolf could never be severed from Rose, not fully. She was created to protect the doctor and it didn't end on the Game Station. Rose Tyler and the Doctor thought their story had ended and they would never be see each other again, but Bad Wolf intervenes. Their story isn't over just yet. A Ten!Rose Reunion Fic featuring Bad Wolf in epic proportions!





	1. One Year Later

364 days, 23 hours, 57 minutes, and 12 seconds. That’s how long it had been since Rose Tyler had been stranded on Darlig Ulv Stranden a second time. The Doctor, her proper Doctor, pinstripes and all, had left her on that beach again, this time with his Metacrisis. He promised them forever and forever turned out to be 364 days, 23 hours, 57 minutes, and 12 seconds. Rose had never wanted to be left in Pete’s World. She had fought nonstop since she’d been trapped the first time to get back to her home universe, the only universe in which the Doctor existed. She’d finally been reunited, only to be left on that dreaded beach hours later with a confused half-doctor and a broken heart. 

The Metacrisis, it turned out, was not the Doctor. It was more complicated than that. He had the Doctor’s memories, but he was still his own person, a very human person. It didn’t take Rose long to figure this out. 

“That’s not my name,” he said shortly. Rose paused, looking at him oddly. They were seated in the kitchen in Pete’s mansion home. Rose didn’t plan to stay forever, but they’d only been back in this universe for a few days and they were still trying to figure out what to do.

“I’m sorry?”

“My name’s not the Doctor. I think he thought we were the same person, that’s just like him, he can have quite a bit of an ego sometimes. We look the same and we’ve got the same memories, but I’m not a Time Lord and I’m just not him. I don’t think I’d like to continue to be called the Doctor,” the Metacrisis rambled on. Rose took a deep breath, feeling her heart break just a little more. She had seen it coming, but she didn’t think he would be so outright about it. Still rude and not ginger, she thought fondly.

“Alright. What would you like to be called then?” Rose asked gently. The Metacrisis looked thoughtful for a moment, dressed in the powder blue jimjams just like her Doctor had been dressed in those years ago at Christmas. 

“John,” he said decisively.

“Not John Smith?” Rose teased with a light laugh. The Metacrisis, John, twisted up his nose in disgust.

“Of course not. John Noble. I am part Donna, afterall,” he said proudly. Rose smiled genuinely this time and nodded.

“Alright then, John Noble. What shall we do next?”

“Rose Tyler, let’s see the world!” he jumped up, grabbed her hand, and ran.

And that’s exactly what they did, for about 6 months. They traveled the Earth they’d been stranded on. Technology was not yet ready to reach out to the stars, but they saw all the Earthly treasures they hadn’t seen before. They went to Paris, New York, Rome, Moscow, and strangely they both loved Iceland. On their trip to Barcelona when John was telling Rose all about his adventures on the planet Barcelona with the nose-less dogs, he was overcome with an intense migraine and had to end their trip early. It went away after a few days and they continued to travel, though less extensively. It didn’t take more than a week before other symptoms started showing. Signs of organ failure. Rose had a sneaking suspicion she knew what it meant, and one day when John was resting in the bed they had come to share in their cozy flat, that suspicion was confirmed. 

“You know what this means,” John said softly, taking Rose’s hand gently in his and stroking the back of it with his thumb. Rose looked away, furiously blinking back the tears that were beginning to form.

“Rose, please,” John pleaded softly. She turned her gaze back to him and broke down as soon as her eyes met his. They were still the Doctor’s eyes, aged with worry and wisdom beyond his physical years, but they were different because in John’s eyes there was hope and pure joy. 

“You knew from the beginning, didn’t you?” she whispered.

“I had a feeling. I’m sure Donna didn’t last long in her current state. I’m sure he had to get the Time Lord mind out of her. I don’t think he ever even considered that my single heart meant that my mind, as well, wouldn’t be able to handle the Time Lord essence inside of it for too long. I was an accident. Something that never should have been created. A Time Lord-Human Metacrisis. It’s never happened because it can’t happen and yet he stupidly thought that it would all be okay if he just dropped us here and ran away. Rose, I’m so angry at him for doing this to both of us. Somewhere in that brilliant mind of his, he had to know I wouldn’t be able to grow old with you,” John ranted. 

“I don’t think he did this to us on purpose, John,” Rose said softly, though she herself was angry as well. She had finally learned to love John separately from the Doctor. She had finally accepted that while she would never see the Doctor again, she got to spend her life with the man she loved. She had finally accepted all of this and it was not being ripped away from her. How many times would her heart be broken by the man she had willingly given it to?

“Of course he didn’t do it on purpose, but he still did it. And now I’ll have to leave you,” he whispered, voice breaking. 

“No, I won't let that happen,” Rose argued. “You're sick, but we have access to the best medical resources this planet can offer. We can fix this.”

John looked doubtful, but he didn't argue with Rose. He didn't have the heart to. Even though he was fully human, Time Lord abilities lingered faintly. He could sense that his timeline was coming to an end. There were a few paths he could take, some slightly longer than others, but none gave him more than 6 months. 

So he did what he knew he needed to: he loved Rose with all his being. They explored and went on as many adventures as they could. In between, Rose forced John to visit Torchwood’s medical facility to get tests and treatments. Things helped, but only temporarily. They never helped for more than a week or so before his body started shutting itself down again. It was during one of their adventures within London (they had plenty of those once John started getting more sick), that John decided to blurt out the thought he’d been holding in for the past 2 months. 

“Marry me!” he proclaimed suddenly. Rose sat up suddenly, looking at him strangely.

“What?”

“Marry me, Rose. I love you with everything I have. You’re my whole world and I need you to know that,” John told her passionately, placing a hand on either side of her face so that he could easily look into her eyes. Rose pulled away slightly, shaking her head a little.

“You’re insane, John. Of course I love you and of course I know you love me. But why do we need to get married? We’re not even from this universe. What does a piece of paper here mean?” she rambled as she stood up and began to pace. John sighed, relaxing back onto their picnic blanket with a knowing smile.

“You’re overthinking this,” he told her softly.

“No I’m not. Planning a wedding takes time and money and why waste that? We don’t need to be married. We don’t need a wedding. And we’re young! We could get married in another ten years if we wanted to,” she argued in vain. Her breath caught as she mentioned the future. It was something they didn’t talk about on purpose. Rose wasn’t ready to accept that she was going to lose John. They continued to work on cures for him and he didn’t seem to be getting worse, so Rose took that as a good sign.

“Rose,” he called softly. She refused to look at him.

“No.”

“Rose, stop giving me reasons not to do it. Do you love me?”

“Don’t be stupid-

“Do you love me?” he repeated. 

“Of course I do,” Rose assured him softly.

“Then marry me.”

“But why-

“Because I love you and I want to marry you,” John laughed. Rose sighed again, falling to the ground beside him. 

“Alright fine,” she muttered, pressing her head into his neck as he kissed her forehead. 

“Great cuz I’ve already got the wedding all planned. Let’s go!” he laughed, pulling her up with a jump and running towards their car. He didn’t grimace at the ordinary vehicle like he usually did. 

“What? You’ve got the wedding planned? But you didn’t even know if I’d say yes!” Rose argued as she joined him inside the car and he took off towards home.

“Oh I knew you’d say yes. I’ve had it planned for ages. It’s tomorrow! I suppose you’ll be needing this,” he grinned at her as he handed her a beautiful, simple diamond ring. She gaped at him, taking the ring and slipping it on her finger. Of course, it fit her perfectly.

“I’ll never understand you, John Noble,” she commented in astonishment.

“Nor I you, Rose Tyler.”

Rose glanced at that ring on her finger now as she twisted it around in worry. It was paired with a thin silver band. Etched into the wedding band were circular patterns filled in with the gorgeous TARDIS blue that both she and John favored so much. John told her it was High Gallifreyan, all he could remember. A side effect of his decline had been that he was losing pieces of the Doctor’s memory. Luckily, he was really only losing the oldest pieces and not the ones that contained his precious memories of Rose. 

Rose closed her eyes and leaned her head onto the hospital bed she was currently sitting beside. Her husband of only 4 short months. They’d been married that next day, almost 8 months after they’d been dropped off at Bad Wolf Bay. Rose had never pictured herself the wife type, not after growing up with a single mother like Jackie, but she found that marriage suited her quite well. Of course she assumed that was because of the man she was married to. John was like the Doctor in so many ways. They had the same mannerisms, the same gob, and the same love of excitement and life. But John was his own man in many ways. Where the Doctor was closed off, John was open to love and even pain. Where the Doctor was arrogant, John was a bit awkward. He was a new being, born as a 900 year old Time Lord, but still experiencing the world on his own for the first time. He had grand memories of their home Universe, but this Universe and his life with Rose were the only tangible experiences he had. And Rose loved him for it. It was strange to be with the man who had the Doctor’s face, but to know and love him as his own person. She knew she’d never stop loving the proper Doctor, of course, but she was happy with John. And that was all coming to an end. 

365 days, 23 hours, 58 minutes, and 3 seconds after they’d been left on the beach, Rose sat beside her human husband’s hospital bed. He was coming in and out of consciousness and was hanging onto life only with the help of several machines. His heart was weakening by the second and though Rose would never say it, she knew these would be her last moments with her husband. She cried softly into the hospital bed before she felt a hand brush her hair back. She looked up to see John smiling softly at her. 

“Don’t cry, my darling Rose,” he whispered. Of course that only made Rose cry harder. She choked back a sob as she grabbed onto his hand and squeezed it gently. 

“How long have you got?” she cried helplessly. She knew he could sense his timelines all coming to an end. She wasn’t sure if he knew how long, but figured it was worth asking. She didn’t want to waste her last few moments with him on tears.

“About 2 minutes,” he confessed with a cough. Rose nodded solemnly, the pain her heart clenching mercilessly. It reminded her of the conversation she’d had with the Doctor a few years back when he was saying goodbye with a hologram, back before the stars had gone out.

“What am I gonna do without you?”

“You’re going to do what you’ve always done, Rose. You’re going to go and live a fantastic life,” he instructed her. She laughed through her tears.

“It doesn’t sound the same coming from your mouth. You need your Northern accent,” she teased him. Neither of them wanted to face the end, but of course that didn’t stop the seconds from ticking by. 

“I haven’t been honest with you, Rose,” John said softly.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Yes it does. I haven’t been honest because I’ve been selfish. And I need to tell you this now. When you saved his life back on the Game Station, when he regenerated...there’s something about that day that you don’t remember because he took the memories and locked them in your brain. He had to, but I should have told you,” John rattled on anxiously, his heart rate picking up. He knew he only had 1 minute and 7 seconds in which to make his confession. 

“Shhh,” Rose calmed him as she watched him clamor for his breath. “None of that matters anymore. I can’t go back to him anyway,” she soothed.

“It does matter because it could make all the difference in the world for you, Rose,” he insisted. 53 seconds left. 

“Doctor stop it,” Rose cried before covering her mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she cried over and over again.

“It’s alright, my darling. I know what you meant. You know he loved you too, very much. I don’t think he’ll ever stop,” he told her quietly. 32 seconds left. 

“John Noble, I love you. Please, don’t leave me,” Rose tried to beg him one more time. It didn’t matter that it was futile. John sucked in a deep breath. 27 seconds left.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he told her, leaning down to kiss her softly once more before falling back into his pillow in a coughing fit. She rushed to help him recover. 

“Stay strong, my Rose, and keep living. It may be a long life, yet for you,” he told her gently. 17 seconds left.

“Goodbye, John,” Rose said softly. 11 seconds left.

“Goodbye, Rose. And I suppose, since it’s my last chance to say it…

“Doctor please don’t,” Rose panicked. She couldn’t bare for it to end the same way again. 4 seconds left.

“Rose Tyler I love you.” The machine beeped loudly and though a swarm of doctors and nurses flew in the room and crowded around them, Rose knew that was the end. She glanced down at her phone and shook her head in resigned disbelief. Exactly 365 days, to the second, was all she had with John Noble. Rose stood and left the room quickly, running straight into the arms of her mother who had been waiting respectfully outside. 

Her mother, Pete, and even little Tony had all been welcoming to John, but all of them had kept their distance for the most part. They couldn’t understand that it wasn’t the Doctor. Tony, of course, just followed the adults. Her 4 year old brother clung to her leg as Rose cried into her mother’s arms. The three of them stayed that way for a long time. Pete joined eventually and Rose let herself believe it would all be okay, just for a moment. 

The funeral was the next day. Rose almost didn’t want to go, but forced herself to any way. It was a small funeral. Her parents and a few of the people from Torchwood who had met John all came to pay their respects. They hadn’t settled down long enough to make any friends so not many people cared that John was gone. Rose didn’t say anything, no one really did. Jackie and Pete both expressed their gratitude that someone had loved Rose so deeply, but after that the funeral wrapped up. Rose headed back in the direction of her flat, but someone caught her arm. Rose turned to find a distraught Jackie. 

“Rose, please, don’t go hide in your flat all alone. We’re here for you. Pete took time off from Torchwood. We want to help,” she begged. Rose pulled her arm out of her grasp gently.

“Mum, don’t worry about me. I’ve got to sort through his stuff. I don’t want it laying all around the flat forever. I’ll be fine,” she said, though even she wasn’t convinced by her own lie.

“Rose, don’t do that just yet,” Pete called, catching up with the two of them. He pulled a TARDIS blue envelope out of his suit jacket. “Here, he told me to give this to you after it was all taken care of. He told me to tell you he’s sorry for not giving it to you himself.” Rose took the letter wordlessly. She opened it instantly, not waiting to be somewhere private. She recognized his handwriting instantly.

My Darling Rose,

I asked your dad to give you this after the funeral. I wanted you to have it sooner, but I didn’t think you’d open it until everything was settled anyway. I’m so sorry I didn’t just tell you this in person. I’ve had a year to figure this out and I don’t have all the details, but I need to tell you what I do know: There might be a way for you to get back to your home universe, back to him.

Please understand, my love, that all of this is just my best guesses. I’m not as clever as he was, but I don’t feel like there’s much left for you in this world. If my suspicions are true, you’ll outlive your family by a longshot and your only hope of a happy ending is to make it back to the Doctor. I could be wrong about all this, Rose, and you could just be an ordinary human who will live an ordinary human life span. If that’s the case, I want you to continue to live and be happy. I want you happy, either way, of course, but I don’t think you’re an ordinary human.

When you opened up the TARDIS to save the Doctor, you looked into the heart of the TARDIS and she looked back into you. You saw the entire Time Vortex and in that moment you became more than Rose Tyler. You became the Bad Wolf. I know you remember some of this, but I know you don’t remember how it ended. Your head couldn’t handle the Time Vortex, just like my body is rejecting the Time Lord trying to settle in. You held onto the Time Vortex for several minutes, destroying the Daleks and restoring Jack’s life in the process. You made sure the Doctor was safe and I have a feeling that’s not all you did. The Doctor tried to remove all of the Huon energy, gold stuff the Time Vortex and subsequently the heart of the TARDIS is made of, from you, but I don’t believe he could remove it all.

Look at yourself in the mirror, my Rose. You don’t look a day over 21. You were 20 years old when you absorbed the Time Vortex. I don’t think you’re aging. That tells me that there’s still a significant amount of Huons in your body. You’ve grown accustomed to it, having it be in your system for so long. I think it would be safe for you to unlock the Bad Wolf if you can figure out how. The TARDIS could help you, I’m sure of it, but you have to make it back to her first. 

There are always weak points in the walls between the Universes. It’s not usually enough for anyone or anything to sneak through, of course, not without breaking the walls entirely. I think you might be able to, though. I just have a feeling it would let you through. You don’t belong in this universe and it can sense it. The universes want to correct themselves, and you are a mistake that was never supposed to happen in this universe. The Doctor put you back here, but it shouldn’t have been this way. You got through once and I think you can go through again. You’ll need to build an updated version of the dimension cannon, something more like an arrow. You’re not trying to blow a hole, you’re just trying to slip yourself through a crack. There are some potential design plans in my desk drawer in our flat. Take a look at them, try them out. Take your time, I think you’ve got plenty of it. I want you to stay safe. 

If you make it back to him, make sure that you know where you are in his timeline. Going back too early could destroy the whole thing, though I’m sure you know that. I’m sorry I don’t have more information for you, Rose. As I said, these are only my suspicions. You know I’m often correct, though. Please, try for yourself to have a happy life...even if I’m wrong about everything. I could have told you this before, could have helped you with it. But I was selfish. I am a selfish man and I want to enjoy all the time with you that I have. I don’t want to share it with efforts getting you back to him.

Good luck, my Rose. I will always love you.

Yours,

John Noble

Rose sucked in a sharp breath. It was hard to keep track of how old she was between the different universes and her time with the Doctor. She’d spent about 2 years with him, by her count, before she was trapped the first time. She spent another 3 years trapped in the parallel universe before making it home to him. And then she’d ended up back in the parallel universe for a year with John. That would make her 25 now. 6 years ago she was a 19 year old shop girl who had an empty relationship, an empty bank account, and a boring life. Now she was a 25 year old widow living in a parallel universe with her dead father and having traveled time and space with a 900 year old alien. 

“What does it say, Rose?” Jackie asked cautiously.

“He thinks...thought...that there’s something different about me since I saved the Doctor years ago. And he thinks that difference is gonna mean that this Universe is gonna try to kick me out since I don’t belong here. I’m not sure...it’s kinda complicated and they’re just his thoughts,” she said distractedly. 

“What you mean, different?” Jackie questioned again. Rose shook her head, re-reading the letter.

“‘M not sure,” she responded. “Mum how long has it been since I first met the Doctor?”

“6 years maybe, why?” her mother responded suspiciously.

“Do I look 25?” Rose asked softly. Jackie studied her for a moment. 

“Oh,” she said as she raised her hand to her mouth in shock and her eyes began to water.

“What’s going on?” Pete demanded, taking a look at Rose. “Oh. I guess I never saw it before,” he murmured.

“None of us did. Too busy worrying about John, I guess,” Rose agreed. 

“You still look like you did when you were 20 years old, except that you stopped coloring your hair,” her mother said softly, running a hand gently through Rose’s dirty blonde hair. 

“John thought I might not be aging. Only more time will tell, though,” Rose sighed. 

And time did tell. Rose re-read John’s letter almost daily, but after looking at the designs he had stashed away, she decided she wasn’t yet ready to even think about that. She took her old job at Torchwood back and continued to help them with Alien encounters and the like. Pete’s World had a parallel version of pretty much every alien she had every encountered, with the exception of Cybermen and Daleks thank goodness. Rose was an excellent Torchwood agent, especially because she as the best at peaceful negotiations. Still when her thirtieth birthday rolled around, others started to take notice of the fact that she didn’t look a day over 21. 

“Mum, I think I have to accept that he was right,” Rose sighed as she sat with her mom after the party guests had cleared from her 30th birthday bash.

“I always looked young for my age, maybe it’s that?” Jackie tried.

“Mum, you know I haven’t aged at all. There’s other things that have stopped happening as well,” Rose confessed with pink cheeks.

“Are you sure you couldn’t be pregnant?”

“MUM.”

“Just trying to be thorough!” she raised her hands in defense. 

“I haven’t been with anyone since John died. You know that,” Rose spat angrily. 

“I’m not sure what you want me to say Rose. There’s no going back to that universe. There’s nothing left for us there anyway,” Jackie said dismissively.

“How could you say that?” Rose asked quietly. “Mickey’s back there now. So’s the Doctor. Our home planet, our home universe, and you think there’s nothing there,” Rose scoffed.

“Rose, we’re dead there. The Doctor’s got all his friends and Mickey’s doing great I’m sure. You’ve got me and your dad and your little brother here. Why are you fighting so hard to try to leave us again?” Jackie questioned. 

“Mum, you know I’m not trying to. I’m just trying to come to terms with something I don’t understand. I’m not aging, which means I’m gonna watch you all grow old and die...even Tony. I’ll be here for you. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. But one day you’ll be gone too and then who will I have?” Rose pleaded. Her mother was quiet for a few moments. 

“Let’s just keep living our life and we’ll see, okay? I’m not convinced John was as brilliant as he thought he was. I think you’re just being paranoid about it. I’m sure I see a wrinkle or two,” Jackie teased. Rose gave her a half-smile, but she didn’t believe it for a moment. At night when she was home from work, she began working on the Dimension Arrow, a device that would widen a slit in the wall of her home universe just long enough for her to be launched through. It worked on the same basic principles that the dimension cannon did, but it was technically much harder to build. Rose had time, of course. She meant what she promised her mother. She had no intentions of leaving her family behind again. Not if she had an eternity to work with.

As hard as it had been, Rose had come to peace with never seeing the Doctor again. It had been 6 years since she’d last seen him, 5 since she’d lost John. Even if she did age and die like a normal person, she would be okay. John had given her more love in a year than she knew she would experience in any human lifetime. Of course, if her family aged and died and left her behind, she would furiously try everything she could to get back to her Doctor. But for now, she wanted to enjoy them for as long as she could.

It ended up that she got to enjoy her mother for another 43 years. Her mother lived to the ripe old age of 89 and died peacefully in her sleep. Pete only lived another 2 years after her passing. Tony lived to 97 and Rose was with him throughout his entire life. When Rose turned 40 and looked half her age, she had to fake her own death and retire from Torchwood. She still helped behind the scenes as she could, without most of the people at Torchwood knowing she was still alive. She did a lot of anonymous traveling after that, investigating on her own and finding danger and adventure around every corner. It was thrilling, but not the same without the Doctor beside her and his sonic screwdriver to get them out of a jam. Once she realized she would have to find a way back to him, Rose began to once again ache for the TARDIS and her pinstriped Doctor. She had no clue what would happen when she made her way back. How would she find him? When would it be? She didn’t know, but by the time Tony passed away she was 119 years old and her Dimension Arrow was ready.

“Well, here goes nothing,” she murmured to herself as she pressed the button on her machine and felt the oh-so-familiar tug of herself being pulled into the void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Hello there, Whovians! This is my first Doctor Who fic. I’ve read pretty much every completed, long reunion fic for Rose and the Doctor. They’re my absolute favorite pairing. I decided to give it a shot! This is sort of an extended prologue, which is why it’s technically the first chapter. Originally I was just going to do it through John’s death, but I decided to rush through this and get to the good stuff for the actual story. I’m not sure yet where I want to dump Rose. I sort of want to a Season 4 rewrite with Rose playing behind the scenes and scheming with the TARDIS. Bad Wolf will be a huge part of this story, of course, but I’m not going to go crazy and turn Rose into a Time Lady or anything like that. There will definitely be...some extra goodies though. So please let me know if you guys liked it and if you’d like to see more!


	2. Some Time in the North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has jumped back into her original universe, and is plopped right onto the TARDIS but sees an unexpected face.

He couldn’t believe she’d said no. Of course, people had said no to the Doctor before. It wasn’t like no one had ever refused to join him on his travels, but it didn’t happen often. And it had definitely never happened with someone who had shown so much promise and excitement during an adventure. Even in the face of death and the destruction of her planet, Rose Tyler had quite literally jumped into the action. The Doctor spent a long time in the void, it was impossible to tell just how long, pondering just why Rose Tyler thought she was so special. What made her life back on Earth so important and worthwhile that seeing the stars with an incredibly clever Time Lord was refusable? 

Then there were the darker thoughts that crossed the Doctor’s mind... While he had been able to save Earth this time, he hadn’t been able to save his beloved Gallifrey. Of course, he wasn’t sure why he kept calling it his “beloved” Gallifrey anyway. He’d hardly loved the planet he grew up on. Still...all those people. It made sense that Rose wouldn’t want to travel with him. He was just a tired, washed up old man who endangered everyone he met. She was honestly better off without him. With that in mind, the Doctor decided to find some trouble to keep busy. What else could he do with no companions and no home planet? As he set the destination to random, a sudden flash of golden light brightened the console room. The Doctor turned away, unable to stare at the light because of its full power. It reminded him strangely of the regeneration energy he had so recently had a run in with. Once the light cleared, the TARDIS’ lights brightened and the old girl hummed happily. The Doctor whipped around to face the area of the strange occurrence and was shocked to see Rose Tyler getting up off the ground. 

Immediately, he began to catalogue the differences in this girl than the one he had just left on Earth in 2005. She looked a bit older, not more than a few years, but still older. Her hair was a darker, more natural shade of blonde than the bleached color he had seen. Her clothing was completely different. Gone was the pink sweatshirt and in its place was a simple black shirt covered with a leather jacket, not unlike his own, but in the exact shade of TARDIS blue. This Rose had lost the soft, childish look he had come to know over the past day or so. She appeared lean and toned, something he knew from experience came from a lifetime of running and adventures. This Rose was completely preoccupied as she struggled to steady herself. When her eyes finally lifted and fell on him, she inhaled a sharp breath. For his part, the Doctor could only stand, completely flabbergasted. 

“What are you doing here?” he demanded harshly. Never once in his entire existence had anyone ever appeared on the TARDIS. It should be impossible, especially while he was simply floating around the void. There was nothing alive out there, no way anything could survive, even if transporting into the TARDIS was possible. The Rose standing before him, he refused to simply refer to her as Rose, only looked offended for a moment before her eyes began to water. She brought her hands up to her face, covering her mouth as her soft, muted cries began. She made a step towards him, but the Doctor moved backward, pointing his sonic screwdriver and doing a general biological scan immediately.

“What are you pointing that like that, for? It’s a screwdriver,” Rose managed to laugh. She had a feeling that she had been pulled into the Doctor’s timeline way too early. He had either not met her yet, or she was somewhere aboard the TARDIS and there were now two versions of her. Still, despite the never ending worries that were circling around her brain at an alarming pace, she was over the moon to see her first Doctor. The warm hum of the TARDIS in her head helped to calm her as well. It was not something she realized she had experienced before, but now that she was hearing the gentle hum and subtle song of the TARDIS, she realized she had heard it a hundred times before. And it was unbelievably amazing to hear it again.

“How did you get on my TARDIS? And what did you do with Rose Tyler?” The Doctor once again made his demands, refusing to drop his screwdriver. It was still running a basic biological scan, which concerned him, because it should have been done in half a second for primitive 20th century human biology.

“I know this may seem very strange and unsettling for you, but I don’t know how to explain,” Rose said calmly. She inched a step towards him and this time, he did not immediately back off. 

“It can’t be that strange. You must have lied to me. I thought you were just an ordinary human and you refused to travel with me because you obviously have some superior technology. You played the part well, though. I honestly that you were some stupid ape. You had me going,” the Doctor seethed.

“Oi! Watch your mouth. I am a human and proud to be. For someone who thinks all humans are stupid apes, you sure do spend a lot of time in 21st century Earth,” she spat in return, her arms crossing over her body in defiance. It didn’t matter if she was over 100 years old. Being around the stubborn, leather-clad Doctor made her feel like a 19 year old shop girl all over again. John, during his short time with her, had explained why his first regeneration with her was so short-tempered. He had filled in the gaps for, told her the details that the Doctor had never shared. This Doctor was newly regenerated and fresh from ending the Time War. He was riddled with guilt and struggling to accept that he was the only survivor of two great (however terrible) species. Still, she had a hard time remembering all that while he stood in front of her, insulting her entire species. In that moment the sonic finished its scan and the Doctor read the results with a frown. 

“Another lie, you're no human. I'm going to ask you again: what did you do with Rose Tyler? Why have you taken her form?” 

“That's a new one. Never been asked why I took my own form before,” Rose replied as she rolled her eyes. Her initial joy at seeing the Doctor was quickly overpowered by her irritation with him. She was wrong to assume anything would be easy with the Doctor. The man was the most stubborn being she had ever met, aside from maybe herself. 

“I just left Rose Tyler, an innocent and very human girl, on Earth in 2005. You can't be her, so don't expect me to believe that. When I find out what you've done to her, you'll wish you’d never laid eyes on me,” the Doctor threatened darkly. He was unsettled by his unexpected visitor and her inconclusive biological scan, but he was also greatly alarmed at just how much he seemed to care about Rose Tyler. He’d only just met the girl and she had refused to travel with him, yet he couldn't help but have this fierce protective tone when he spoke about her. 

“Ah.” Rose nodded in understanding. She had never really thought about what her Northern Doctor had done in between the time he left her and Mickey to the time he returned and she ran into his TARDIS. It was one thing she’d never talked about with John and she supposed it was because any memory of her being there before her previous self would have to be blocked for the Doctor. Whatever time she spent in the TARDIS before her precious self returned, he wouldn’t remember until their timelines matched up again. 

“I am Rose Tyler, Doctor. I'm just a future version of her,” Rose explained quietly. 

“If you're Rose Tyler, why is your body scan coming back inconclusive instead of human?” 

“Yes, well, I don't quite have an answer to that. It's a little complicated, bit of a long story and I'm not really sure how much of it I'm supposed to tell you,” Rose admitted with a wince. 

“If you're really from my future, I'm going to have to forget all of this. I'll have to block the memory. So tell me, ‘Rose Tyler’, what happened between the living plastic invasion in 2005 and this moment for you that could possibly make you inconclusive. And spare me no details,” the Doctor instructed calmly, though she knew the anger was still brewing right under the surface. Rose took a deep breath and watched as her impatient Doctor tapped his foot likely. 

“It’s a very long story,” she warned him.

“I’ve got forever,” the Doctor countered. Rose winced a little, clearly he didn’t know just how much that word would mean to the two of them one day. The Doctor definitely took notice of her reaction, but he simply catalogued it along with all the other odd things he was noting about Rose Tyler.

“We traveled together, you and I,” Rose started.

“Your story is already false! Rose Tyler said no,” the Doctor interrupted. Rose cleared her throat angrily.

“Shut it, you. If you want me to tell the story, you need to quiet down and let me finish,” she said with a huff. The Doctor raised his arms in defeat, bowing slightly as he sat down on the jumpseat. 

“You came back, ‘bout 20 seconds after you’d left and said By the way, did I mention it also travels in time? I didn’t hesitate for another mo’. I ran into the TARDIS with you and I didn’t look back. Doctor, I always regretted not saying yes the first time. I’m just lucky you came back and asked again,” Rose added softly. The Doctor’s gaze hardened.

“I never ask twice.”

“You did back then. I might be changing the course of the future so I have no idea what’s going to happen,” Rose admitted with a nod. The Doctor huffed in response.

“I’ve already told you, I’m going to have to forget this whole thing if what you say is true and you really are from my future. Now get on with it!”

“Alright, alright,” Rose chirped. “We traveled for roughly a year and we saw so much!” Rose smiled at the memories. “You took me to Earth’s death because you thought I was being cheeky when I said there was no way it could travel far into the future. I learned, then, how dangerous traveling with you could be. You offered to take me back, but I didn’t want to go back. We got chips instead and of course, I paid cuz you never carry any money on you. You gotta change that, you know?” Rose laughed. 

“I don’t need to hear about every adventure. Anyone who’s ever heard my name knows I go on adventures that end up involving danger. None of that is news to me and it doesn’t prove anything,” the Doctor insisted. Rose took another deep breath, leaning against the console for support. It had been 100 years since she’d last seen any regeneration of the Doctor, and over 90 years since she’d seen John. She hadn’t been able to fully rest for almost 100 years. She was exhausted and she had no idea how she was going to prove to this war-torn man with a hardened heart, that she was actually Rose Tyler. It would have been so much easier if she had been dropped into his Timeline right where she’d left him, but no she had to be taken here. A gentle mental nudge from the TARDIS and a soft hum jolted Rose into the present again, out of her reverie. She had never felt such a distinct movement in her mind from the TARDIS, but it urged her to continue. She thought of things the Doctor would only tell those he trusted, or that would only lie in his future.

“We faced Daleks. You thought they were all gone, all destroyed in the Time War, but you were wrong. There was one left and we stumbled upon it. I didn’t understand at the time, I tried to show it mercy. But it ended up dying anyway. That was the first time you told me about the Time War,” Rose confessed. The Doctor didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge her, but she knew she’d hit a soft spot.

“We ended up on a spaceship called the Game Station and that’s where we discovered that an entire fleet of Daleks had survived, led by the Dalek Emperor. We tried to fight them, but it was hopeless and you knew that...so you sent me away in the TARDIS and had a holograph say goodbye. I’ve never really forgiven you for that,” Rose paused, half-waiting for the Doctor to interrupt. When he didn’t, Rose continued. 

“I didn’t let you send me away that easily, though. I forcefully ripped open the TARDIS and looked into her heart.”

“YOU DID WHAT TO MY TARDIS? NO ONE IS MEANT TO SEE THAT,” the Doctor roared, standing from his chair and advancing quickly towards her. Rose had expected this reaction and only took a single step away to maintain the distance between them. If she allowed the distance to close, she didn’t think she’d be able to stop herself from hugging him and clinging on for dear life.

“That’s what you said then too. There’s more to that story, but that’s not the point-

“Not the point? ROSE TYLER, even some of the most promising Time Lords could not handle looking into the Time Vortex. That is what is inside the heart of the TARDIS: the Time Vortex and you’re trying to tell me that a human being looked into it, absorbed the Time Vortex and survived? That’s IMPOSSIBLE,” he raged on. He wasn’t sure why he was so concerned. The girl was obviously lying. 

“You really like to overuse that word, Doctor,” Rose murmured with a small smile. 

“No, I use it just enough. I wouldn’t need to say it so often if stupid humans didn’t stop trying to do the impossible,” he grumbled, seemingly embarrassed. Rose had to fight back her laugh. His pouty moods were her favorite part about the younger Doctor. Of course he still wasn’t young by any standard, but he was the youngest Doctor she’d known. 

“Let’s just say you found a solution to the problem. Either way, the TARDIS and I worked together and we came back for you. We destroyed the Daleks and you brought me home safe. Unfortunately, this particular you didn’t make it home as safe. You regenerated.” Rose bit her lip and watched the Doctor carefully. He had been awfully quiet about the Daleks returning and quiet about the mentions of the Time War as well. 

The Doctor, for his part, was watching Rose carefully out of the corner of his eye. It appeared as though he was looking away, occupied by something else, but he had been watching Rose the entire time. She wasn’t nervous or jittery and she told her story with calm earnesty. He couldn’t find reason to suspect she was lying. All of the things she said, though insane, were relatively believable for him. He wasn’t sure how to process her news of the Daleks surviving the Time War. The Time War itself was almost considered a myth in many parts of the Universe, and lower level planets like Earth would have no idea such a thing existed. It also wasn’t the kind of thing anyone would make up. She’d mentioned trying to show a Dalek mercy: that was definitely something only a clueless human would do. All the details of her story certainly seemed to match up and that terrified him more than anything. If all she was saying was actually true, his future was infinitely more terrifying. The Daleks had survived the Time War, which meant one simple fact: Gallifrey burned for nothing. All of the Gallifreyans, all of the Time Lords, all of the innocent children...they had all been destroyed in vain. The Doctor’s hearts both dropped to his stomach as he realized that he ruthlessly murdered his entire race for absolutely no reason. And now a being stood before him who had thrown away her life, become some unknown creature, just for him. That made the Doctor a monster. 

“Doctor?” Rose asked softly. The Doctor finally turned his head to glare right at her.

“Did you leave then? After I regenerated?” he questioned in an accusing tone. 

“I was scared,” Rose admitted. “But I never left, and I never thought of leaving. I stayed with you and I grew close with your next regeneration as well. I always missed you, but the next you...he was magnificent in his own ways.” She left out the part of promising him forever and falling hopelessly in love with him. That was something she couldn’t even think of mentioning to this particular Doctor. The Doctor was quiet still, choosing to save his questions for the end of her tale.

“And then?” he prompted impatiently.

“I traveled with you more, for another year or so...maybe more. We always lost track of time when we were adventuring. We ran into trouble when we ended up in a parallel universe by accident. You managed to get us out, but not before we met the Cybermen.”

The Doctor once again catalogued that as a reason Rose had to be telling the truth. There weren’t many races out in the universe that had encountered the Cybermen, at least not the ones he had come across years ago. 

“We managed to get out of that Universe, but things kept going downhill for us. The Cybermen managed to make their way into our home universe, and so did the Daleks who had been hiding in a void ship. They were infiltrating Earth at the same time, fighting with each other and killing humans and stealing them for conversion...it was a mess. You had the brilliant idea on sending them back into the void since they were covered in void stuff. Unfortunately for us, anyone who-

“Travels through the void also gets covered in void stuff,” the Doctor interrupted, rolling his eyes. “Yes I know that, Rose, it was me that taught you after all.” Rose smiled slightly. He wouldn’t admit it, but he believed that she was who she said she was now. 

“Right well you and I held onto these mega clamp things, but I had to readjust the lever that was holding the portal open and I slipped and fell,” Rose stated.

“Into the void? How are you alive?” 

“Calm down, Doctor. Right before I fell into the void, the version of my dad from the parallel world the Cybermen had come from caught me and brought me to his universe with his dimension hopper. He and a group of other people from his universe had been using them to get to us, but since the walls between the universes were healing we couldn’t get back to you. My mum made it over with us, so did Mickey.”

“You mean Ricky,” the Doctor corrected. Rose rolled her eyes. Some things never change.

“Sure, whatever. Anyway I lived over there for a good year before I found a way back to you. I built a Dimension Cannon and I jumped over and over again...hoping to land in the correct universe to warn you that something was wrong, something was coming. I finally made it back to you, just in time for the Daleks to destroy all of time and space. I was thrilled to be back together with you, but when it was all over and we managed to save everything...you dropped me back off in the parallel world. I was mad at you for ages,” Rose said, clenching her teeth. Now that she was standing in front of the actual Doctor, she could feel the pain of being left behind fresh. She had been left by him again and again and again, and yet she continued to come back to him. What else could she do?

“Why did I do that?” the Doctor questioned.

“I think you were afraid,” Rose answered softly. “I can’t say for sure, but we had gotten so close...I think you were afraid that it would hurt if I ever left you, even involuntarily again, so you tucked me away safely where you could be in control of your own pain,” Rose hypothesized. The Doctor studied her carefully once more. The pain was clearly etched into her every movement. Whatever he had done, he had ruined this girl. He knew there was more to the story, but he couldn’t figure out what she was hiding. 

“And then, what? You kept trying to rebuild your little Dimension Canon?” 

“Not quite,” she replied. “It took me time, but with the help of a special friend of mine, I was able to come to peace with the fact that we would never see each other again. I accepted that I would live a normal human life, even if it was in a different universe than where I had been born. I at least had my mum and my dad, even if he was a parallel version of my dad.”

The Doctor couldn’t recall seeing a man at the small flat her and her mum lived in. He wondered what had happened to the version of her father that resided in her home universe, in his universe. 

“So how did you end up here?”

“A lot of time passed and we all figured out that I had stopped aging, probably around the time I looked into the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the Time Vortex,” Rose stated simply. She didn’t see any point in sugarcoating it. The man was a 900 year old Time Lord, he could handle it. 

“What?” he asked, his jaw dropping.

“I guess you thought you had taken all of the Vortex energy, all the Huon particles, out of me, but you missed some. John thought I might still have some connection to the TARDIS and that if I built a new version of the Dimension Canon, something smaller and more precise, the TARDIS would help me get back to you. He was right.”

“John?” the Doctor questioned, narrowing his eyes. Rose held her breath. She hadn’t meant to let it slip.

“He was my…husband,” she finally admitted.

“Oh?”

“He was...a human/Time Lord metacrisis that was created during the second Dalek invasion. You dumped us both in the parallel world because you thought you were giving us the chance to live a long, normal human life together,” Rose explained carefully.

“What do you mean I thought?” the Doctor pressed on.

“Please, Doctor, I don’t want to talk about it. Frankly, I’m still angry and I don’t want to be angry at you for something you haven’t even done yet.”

…

“Alright,” the Doctor conceded after a few moments of silence. 

“Anyway that’s basically the story, the short version any way. It took me a long time to build the machine to get back to you and I had no idea where I’d end up. I was a little shocked to see you, to be honest. I was assuming I’d see your next self since that’s the one I last saw,” Rose was quick to change the pace of the conversation.

“Exactly how long is a long time, Rose Tyler? How long have you lived and have you aged at all? Maybe you assumed wrong and you just have a youthful glow. Maybe my sonic is broken and you really are just a human,” the Doctor looked hopeful.

“I don’t think that’s possible, Doctor. Not anymore,” Rose sighed.

“How long?”

“I’m 119 years old.”

“I think you look good for your age,” the Doctor smiled. His greatest fear was confirmed: he had destroyed this girl. If he went back and asked Rose to travel with him and she followed, this is where it would lead her. But if he didn’t ask Rose, then Rose would never come back to warn him and he would end up asking Rose. She’d created a paradox and it was all a jumbled mess. His panic was rising, but he kept the goofy grin on his face for her. She had clearly fought hard to get back to him, even if he barely had any idea who she was. Rose, for her part, was laughing and looking fully relaxed for the first time since she’d showed up in his TARDIS. When her laughter died down, the Doctor took a sudden interest in the smudge on the toe of his right shoe. He let the silence sit awkwardly for a bit before finally, Rose let out a very delicate cough. His head snapped up and she grimaced a little at disturbing the quiet moment.

“I know it may seem strange since I’ve just told you my life story, in not so much detail, and claimed to be someone very important to you when you barely know me at all...but do you think it would be alright if I just cleaned up a bit and maybe popped into a spare room for a kip? You wouldn’t believe the past century I’ve had,” she said with a wink. The Doctor let her easy teasing roll off his back, though it made him uneasy. He simply nodded in a very business-like manner.

“Yes, of course, the TARDIS should take you to an appropriate room. Just...meet me back out here when you feel well rested, I guess,” he gestured for the hallway and Rose took that as her cue to leave. She nodded in thanks and quickly headed down the hallway, rushing out of his sight only to pause. As she took a deep breath, she tried to take it all in. She was once again inside the TARDIS. Not only that, she was back with her first Doctor and he barely had any idea who she was. He still saw her as a 19 year old, bleach blonde shop girl who had a knack for asking the right questions and providing none of the answers. She couldn’t figure out why the TARDIS had brought her to this spot in his timeline, but she assumed that she herself had had something to do with it, back during those few moments when she was in complete control of time and space. She had manipulated the time lines so that she could save the Doctor, and maybe this was just one of those moments. The TARDIS gave a happy hum in response and Rose smiled. 

It’s so very nice to be back, Old Girl. Rose wasn’t sure if she would be able to communicate with the ship in words, but she assumed the ship could at least understand her. The TARDIS once again sent her a happy hum and a gentle nudge before opening a door just down the hall. Rose rushed towards it and was thrilled to find her old room. It wasn’t quite as she’d left it. Changes had been made. Instead of the bright pink walls and sweatshirts strewn all over the place, the room was painted in a lovely rose pink. It was a more mature version of the color she had so loved as a teenager. The dresser was the same, but it had been tidied and now the clothing she had favored in the parallel world was found in her wardrobe. The pictures of her and the Doctor and Captain Jack on their adventures were still strewn around her room and tears sprung to her eyes as she grabbed one of her favorites from one of their visits to Cardiff. She silently thanked the ship for bringing her room home, and for making some more age appropriate upgrades.

As much as she wanted to continue her tour down memory lane, Rose really was aching for a hot shower and some much deserved rest. She dashed into the en suite bathroom, once again marveling at the rows of spa-like products the TARDIS provided. Most of it was alien, but since it was all translated Rose had no problem finding her favorite scents as she turned on the faucet. After a hot and relaxing shower, Rose couldn’t even say how long it was, she wrapped herself in the softest, fluffiest towel she had ever touched and found a comfortable pair of jimjams waiting for her in the bathroom. She dressed slowly, taking her time picking out a nice lotion and drying her hair. Once she felt clean and refreshed, Rose made her way to the large bed. Her bedding had changed, but she was sure that the comfort level of the mattress would be no different than it was 100 years ago. As she laid down and rested her head on the soft, yet completely supportive pillow, she let out a small sigh of contentment. 

Her eyes were closed and her mind drifted to sleep the minute her head hit the pillow. She didn’t stay in the darkness for long, though. Almost immediately a soft golden light began to fill her mental vision. Rose found herself suddenly in a beautiful garden, with water falling from nowhere into little stone pools. She looked around curiously and found a woman sitting on a bench. The woman was thin and dressed in a beautiful flowing gown, of course in royal TARDIS blue. Her hair was a mess of black curls, piled atop her head. She waved a few fingers at Rose eagerly.

“Hello, my wolf!” she exclaimed. Rose was confused, but since it was a dream, she approached the woman anyway.

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh silly wolf, don’t you know who I am?” the strange woman giggled, bouncing in her seat as she patted the spot on the bench next to her. Rose sat down carefully, worried the woman might explode with pure excitement.

“I’m sorry, I can’t say I do. Should I?” Rose asked politely. 

“Darn this form. I thought I’d chosen it from your past, but it seems I’ve gotten the past and the future all mixed up again! I’m your heart, little one,” the woman smiled brightly, but Rose still shook her head.

“I’m really not following,” she admitted almost regretfully. The woman who sat beside her screwed up her face in concentration.

“You know I sing you that lovely song,” she said before opening her mouth wide and letting lose the most beautiful, haunting melody Rose had ever heard. A shiver ran down her spine as she recognized it instantly.

“Are you the...the TARDIS?” she stuttered.

“Yes that’s right! Time And Relative Dimension In Space. That’s me! I’m a type 40, you know, and the very last of my kind, just like my thief and just like you, dear! We’re all very lonesome creatures and that’s why we have each other, the three of us,” the TARDIS rambled on. Rose looked at her oddly. She knew the ship was alive, had experienced it for herself at one point, but she had a hard time accepting that this strange woman was the TARDIS.

“Alright, well if you’re the TARDIS...how are you human?” 

“Oh, I’m not. Of course I’m not! I just thought it might be easier for you to speak with me if I looked like this. Would you prefer something else, my sweet?” the TARDIS asked kindly. It didn’t surprise Rose that she would be the nurturing type.

“No, that’s alright. It’s just a bit strange. After 100 years of life, I didn’t think much else could surprise me is all,” Rose admitted.

“You’re back traveling with me now! Nothing but surprises. The good, and the bad as well I’m afraid. Nothing stops my thief from getting into trouble. Of course I sometimes have a hand in that. We both love a good adventure. And so do you, my wolf, that’s why you began traveling with us in the first place!” 

“You’re not wrong about that. I don’t mean to be rude, TARDIS, but why exactly are you visiting me in my dream?” Rose asked cautiously.

“How silly of me! Of course I should explain. Of course you’re very confused and probably very tired. I’ll try not to take too much of your time. Well, your John Noble was correct in assuming that the Bad Wolf has never truly left you. You are the Bad Wolf and she is Rose Tyler, there is no separating the two. The Doctor took most of the huon particles out and put them back inside of my heart, but all that did was lock the Bad Wolf into a certain part of your mind. For the past hundred years, your mind has been stretching to accommodate her and you’re almost ready to have full access to the Bad Wolf again. I had to reach out to you when you were asleep because when you are awake, your mind is too occupied and too focused on your very human tasks to allow me to slip in like this. The little piece of me that’s still hidden in your mind is what allowed me to help pull you through the void. My Thief is lost without you, though he’ll never admit it. Bad Wolf made it so. Bad Wolf ensured that you would have your forever with him and he would have his forever with you. Bad Wolf-”

“Please, TARDIS, slow down. I’m very tired and I’m afraid I’m not quite understanding you,” Rose begged. The TARDIS smiled softly.

“I’m very sorry, little Wolf. I won’t be able to tell you everything I know right away. I’ll have to keep visiting you. I’ll help you unlock the Bad Wolf and we’ll figure out a way for you to cope with both she and yourself in your mind at the same time. While you are the same, you’re also very different. It’s all quite wibbly wobbly, you see and it’s going to take us time to sort through it. I’ll visit you each time you rest, but for now I will leave you to sleep,” the TARDIS answered her gently as she stood to leave. The vibrant colors of the garden began to fade.

“Wait!”

“What is it, dear?”

“Am I alright to stay here with the Doctor before I’ve properly traveled with him? Won’t I mess up the timelines? What if he never goes back to pick me up? Isn’t that some sort of paradox?” Rose worried.

“Do not worry, my wolf. Enjoy your time with this Doctor. You never got a proper goodbye last time and this is Bad Wolf’s gift to you. When it is time, he will block his memories of this time with you and he will return for your younger selves. I promise it shall be so,” the beautiful woman replied before she and the serene garden faded from existence and left Rose with only the darkness. Rose allowed her consciousness to slip back into blissful, dreamless sleep as the TARDIS hummed her a lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Hello again! Thank you all for the follows and the handful of reviews, as well! I was so pleasantly surprised to see such a good response to my very first Doctor Who fic. I had a tough time deciding where to take this story after the initial set up, but I like where it’s headed so far. I hope you enjoy it as well. Don’t worry, she’ll be reunited with 10 in time! I promise to respond to any and all questions posed in the comments.


	3. The In Between Bits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Long time, no see friends! I’m a slow writer and for that I’m really sorry, but I promise I have not abandoned any of my unfinished stories unless they are labeled as such. It’ll probably just take several weeks for me to update each chapter. This is the last chapter of what I had already written so definitely going to be a slower writing process from here on out.
> 
> Mwa!

After the mysterious young woman left the console room, the Doctor did what he always did when he was trying to work out a particularly difficult problem, he tinkered under the console. The second he picked up a wrench, though, he felt a static jolt of electricity shoot him. I

“What?” he snapped, directing his comment at the ship. He felt a wave of annoyance brush his consciousness in response.

“I don’t know what you could possibly be upset about,” he responded to his sentient ship. “If all she’s saying is true, she’s just another companion. You’ve never gotten this worked up over my companions before. In fact, you’ve been downright rude to most of them,” he pointed out. He was met with a nudge of insistence and a clearly chastising hum. She let him tinker for a few hours as Rose rested, but after about 8 hours the TARDIS had had enough. She began to send him frequent jolts of electricity. Every time he picked up a tool or touched a piece of the console, he was shocked instantly.

“FINE! I won’t try to do any more work, you moody thing. What is it you think I should be doing?” he huffed at the ship. There was a moment of silence and then suddenly, she was landing somewhere...the very familiar wheezing sound echoing through the console room. The Doctor rolled his eyes, but headed towards the door anyway. Maybe a good adventure was exactly what he needed to get his mind off things. 

Rose awoke when she heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS landing. She was unable to stop herself from almost flying out of the bed in a panic, throwing on the clothes she had worn the day before as she went. She felt a wave of calming reassurance from the TARDIS, but ignored it and ran into the console room. The Doctor was nowhere to be seen, and a quick look at the outside monitor showed her massive crowds of people, though she couldn't pinpoint where or when. Despite her 119 years of life, she hadn't time traveled in over 90 years. She was completely out of practice identifying where and when she might be. The TARDIS once again caressed her mind soothingly and this time, Rose listened. At least she hadn't been left behind without the TARDIS this time, plus she couldn't really blame this particular doctor from running away from her. He didn't even really know her yet. Now that the initial fear had settled, Rose wandered back down the hallway in hopes of finding the kitchen. The kitchen had always been one of those rooms that was never in the same place. Of course, the only room that was ever in the same place was the console room (and that was only if you were entering from outside). Still, the kitchen was always particularly difficult to find if Rose was being honest with herself. She found that after 90 some odd years, this had not changed. 

Rose stumbled upon several different storage closets, spare rooms, the library, the wardrobe room (which she looked in on longingly, but decided to ignore), 4 swimming pools, and the cinema room before she finally found the kitchen. With a breath of relief, she set about making herself a simple breakfast of beans on toast. When she had first traveled with the Doctor, she hadn’t exactly been much of a cook. They mostly ate out, though she found her second doctor, all donned in pin stripes, was quite the cook himself. Still, after 100 years of living, Rose had picked up a few things and beans on toast was simple enough. She ate in silence, allowing the quiet melody of the TARDIS to play in her head. Once she finished eating, she moved to quickly wash the dishes she had used. While the TARDIS would clean up anything left behind, Rose had often admonished the Doctor for ignoring simple chores and did them herself. The ship was downright magical, but she was a like a maid to the Doctor...and Rose didn’t want her to feel forced to clean up after everyone. 

As she scrubbed at the pan she began to hum the melody quietly under her breath. The TARDIS responded happily by singing louder to Rose. The two went on in their lovely duet as Rose tidied the kitchen mindlessly. When she was finished with the kitchen, she moved on to the library and eventually found herself sweeping up the console room. She was so occupied by her their melodic duet that she missed the sound of the doors opening quietly. The Doctor stood near the entrance and watched the young human move around his console room, dancing to a melody that sounded foreign and yet so familiar. It took him only a moment to figure it out: the song of the TARDIS...but it was different than he had heard it before. He patted a strut of coral softly and his ship filled his mind with the same song she was singing for Rose. The Doctor had a hard time fighting the tears that suddenly wanted to flow from his eyes. He coughed loudly to interrupt the song and Rose stopped, turning around. Instead of being startled like he had expected, the blonde sent him an easy, if cautious, smile. 

“Good Morning,” she greeted him happily. The Doctor grunted.

“Not much of a morning if you sleep through it. I expect you’ve just now woken up. Humans and their sleep,” he leaned easily against the console, arms crossed. Rose shook her head, refusing to let the smile slip off her face. Now that she had rested and been reassured by the TARDIS that she wasn’t destroying any timelines, she was determined to enjoy whatever time she got with her first doctor. He was hurting and she knew he would never show that, but she was determined to help him until he went back and her past self could give him the healing he needed. 

“Nope,” she popped her ‘p’. “I only slept for maybe 8 hours. When I heard the TARDIS landing, I ventured out here, but since you were already gone I decided to eat and tidy up. You know, you really should try and clean up after yourself more. I think the old girl would appreciate it,” Rose told him, setting the duster she had been holding back on the hook the TARDIS had provided for her. 

“She’s not dirty,” the Doctor insisted simply. Rose shrugged and joined him near the console, sitting on the jumpseat. It had always been her go to place when traveling with the Doctor. 

“I suppose she just put the dirt there for me to clean up then?” Rose raised an eyebrow, taunting the Doctor. She was aching for that easy banter she knew they had once perfected, but he didn’t take the bait.

“That song you were humming...where did you hear it?” he asked. It was phrased as a question, but Rose could tell he meant it as a command. He stood there in all his hardened, leather glory. His arms crossed tightly across himself while his legs stood in a straight, stiff pose. 

“The TARDIS sings to me, mostly to comfort me,” Rose told him honestly. She saw no point in lying to the man. It would only make him angry and he would keep asking until he got the truth. The Doctor was thoughtful for a moment. She had expected him to question her immediately, but perhaps the TARDIS had been doing some convincing of her own.

“And has that been happening since you looked into the Vortex?” 

“I’m not sure. I think it was very faint back then since my mind was completely human and wouldn’t have been able to understand much of it anyway. Since I’ve been back, I recognized her song so I think I’ve heard it before, but I don’t know when. She started singing to me when I realized you had left this morning,” Rose confessed.

“What had you all panicked? It wasn’t like I was going to leave you with my TARDIS and never come back,” the Doctor questioned. He was treading on careful ground. No one had ever formed a bond with his ship before, least of all a human girl. He hadn’t even traveled with humans for so long...they were such fleeting creatures. 

“It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened to me,” was her quiet reply. The Doctor thought this over for a few minutes. Rose waited patiently as the Doctor digested the thought. The Doctor noted her patience silently. The 19 year old he had left behind would never have waited more than a second for an answer. He knew that at this point he believed this Rose Tyler was a future version of the young girl who had said no, but he continued to catalogue evidence that supported this conclusion. It was a habit of his. 

“Well I’m sure if a future version of myself did that, it was in a completely hopeless situation and in every attempt to keep someone safe,” he stated with complete confidence. Rose couldn’t disagree, but she didn’t necessarily agree either. 

“Agree to disagree,” she said simply, crossing her own arms as she looked away. The Doctor thankfully took the hint. Unlike her next Doctor, this Doctor was happy to leave uncomfortable social situations alone. 

“I didn’t pop off to go anywhere spectacular...it’s just that the TARDIS brought me somewhere and I couldn’t exactly ignore her. Not sure why she wanted me to be there, I’ve already tried to examine that event and it’s a fixed point in time,” the Doctor said, clearly trying to ease the tension that had built in the room. Rose tilted her head to the side.

“And what fixed point where you visiting?” she questioned, fighting the smile on her face. The Doctor had never respected the whole “fixed point” idea. Even with her father and the paradox, he had let her be there for her dad’s death. 

“JFK’s assassination,” the Doctor answered grimly. Rose nodded in understanding. 

“I know why,” she said simply.

“Why what? Why he was assassinated?” the Doctor scoffed. “That’s not very difficult to figure out.”

“I know why the TARDIS brought you there,” Rose replied with an eye roll. “When I was 19 and after I’d just met you, but before we fought the Nestene Consciousness, I tried to figure out who you were by searching on the internet. I found some guy who’d apparently been trying to track you. He showed me photos of you, this current regeneration, in the crowd at the JFK assassination and...somewhere else.”

“Where else?”

“I don’t think it’s important. You’ll get there eventually,” Rose shrugged. She hated to mention that he would end up meeting a family destined to board the Titanic. John had told her about his and Donna’s visit to Pompeii and she knew that it killed him to walk away and leave innocent people to die when he had no choice. She knew from the photo that he would save one small family, just like at Pompeii, but that was something the Doctor would come to on his own terms. He seemed to accept her answer, thank goodness. 

“Well enough of that,” he said, clapping his hands together. “Where should we go off to?”

Rose bit her lip. She didn’t really want to go off on an adventure with him. Things were still very weird and she didn’t want him to go somewhere that he was supposed to go with her younger self in his future. She rubbed her temples, it was all getting to be a bit much. The TARDIS hummed soothingly and she found the Doctor suddenly very close to her face, sonic screwdriver whirring in her eyes.

“Headache?” he asked. Rose shook her head. 

“No,” she mumbled as she half-heartedly brushed his hand away. “It’s just a bit much, that’s all.”

“Trying to avoid points in the future?” he asked knowingly.

“Yes, because while you may block the memory, there’s no guarantee us being there before we’re supposed to be there wouldn’t have an effect on us going there later and if we don’t go there later then everything could change. Everything has to happen exactly as it already happened and that’s just…”

“It’s nutty,” the Doctor grinned. “Time isn’t linear, Rose, so stop your worrying. It’ll be fine. I can sense your timeline and trust me, there haven’t been any changes so far in your past. How about I pick a place and if we ever visited there, you let me know and we’ll go somewhere else,” he suggested gently. Rose was a bit taken aback. She’d almost forgotten that this Doctor had a sensitive side. Of course, each Doctor did, but she always remembered this one as being particularly rough around the edges. 

“How about Barcelona? The planet, of course, and not the country. They’ve got dogs with no noses!” the Doctor grinned widely and Rose couldn’t stop the smile that spread over her face instantly. 

“You always say that. I’m beginning to think Barcelona doesn’t exist,” she teased in return. The Doctor huffed and just like all those years before, she saw the look on his face as he rushed toward the console and started tinkering with buttons before pulling the lever that would send them to Barcelona. He thought her cheeky. He was going to show her wrong. Barcelona did exist and there absolutely was dogs with no noses. Rose held back her laughter as the TARDIS wheezed to life. They were off on an adventure just like old times and for the first time in years Rose let herself forgive the Doctor. He wasn’t really her Doctor after all, she couldn’t be angry at him for decisions he had yet to make and she couldn’t change his future actions anyway. So she decided to just enjoy her big-eared, leather-clad, Northern Doctor for who he was: an uncomplicated piece of her very complicated history with the Time Lord. 

“Rose Tyler, welcome to Barcelona,” the Doctor grinned as the TARDIS landed suddenly. He flung the door open with a flourish of his arms. Rose raised her eyebrow and felt the familiar movement of her arms folding across her chest, hip sticking out with a particular sass she didn’t exactly feel was appropriate for a woman her age.

“Are you quite sure this is the planet Barcelona, Doctor? Cuz it looks an awful lot like the city of Barcelona to me, maybe around 1999 based on the platform shoes and crop tops. I did get the chance to visit Barcelona in the other universe and this is pretty much what it looked like,” Rose said. The Doctor frowned and went back to the console, fiddling with the buttons and glancing at the screen in frustration.

“What’d you do that for?” he called up at the ship. The TARDIS, for her part, kept quiet. 

“Maybe there’s a mystery to solve or an adventure to be had,” Rose called back to him from the doorway. “She always seems to take us where we’ll do the most running. Then again, maybe you are just a big fat liar and there is no planet Barcelona. I mean honestly...dogs with no noses?”

“I’ll show you Rose Tyler!” the Doctor humphed. Rose closed the door quickly as the TARDIS began de-materializing, but before it had left fully the TARDIS began to rumble, but they quickly realized that the ground outside was rumbling as well. The Doctor halted the TARDIS’s departure and looked at Rose curiously. Rose responded with a raised eyebrow and an excited smile. For the first time in at least four decades, she felt the stirring in her stomach that indicated an adventure was about to begin. She flung the door open and took a few steps outside, the Doctor not far behind her. On the horizon they saw a cloud of dust rising from the cobblestone that made up the streets. The rumbling sounded like hundreds of feet pounding the pavement.

“That sure sounds an awful lot like the running of the bulls,” the Doctor commented. He was watching Rose carefully, testing her. Rose rolled her eyes. After living with 2.5 Doctors she knew a snide little test when she saw one, but she opted not to mention it.

“Yeah, except the running of the bulls doesn’t happen in Barcelona. It happens in Pamplona. So either this is Pamplona, Spain or….” she trailed off as the cloud of dust became more transparent. 

“Or that’s definitely not a bull chasing that very large group of terrified people,” the Doctor finished her sentence with a grin as they took off running toward imminent danger. The giant creature had horns like a bull and hooves like a bull, but it also had a long spiked tail, terrifying bat-like wings, and razor sharp teeth. It was chasing a group of maybe 50 people, though with what end goal it wasn’t clear. Many of the people it caught up with jumped out if it’s path and it did not pursue them, simply continued to run. There were only 1-2 people who seemed injured thus far. 

“What do you reckon it is, Doctor?” Rose asked as she struggled to keep up with him. It had been several years since she’d been on the run and even though Rose hadn’t aged, some days she really did feel like she was 100 years old.

“Dunno. Could be anything really. It’s probably alien, though I guess it could be robotic too,” he rambled on a bit, more distracted by Rose’s shortness of breath than he was by the giant creature that was now directly in their path. Of course, it was more correct to say that they had put themselves directly in its path, but the Doctor couldn’t be bothered with formalities. He slowed his pace ever so slightly and watched as Rose’s struggle lessened significantly. He’d have to remember that she wasn’t used to the same type of adventure that he was. He was so used to being alone since the war. 

“That’s not very helpful,” Rose scoffed, not noticing their slower pace or any of the Doctor’s distraction. He fought the urge to roll his eyes and mutter apes. 

“Well we’re going to find out, aren’t we?” he shrugged as he came to a sudden halt. Rose skidded to a stop next to him, glancing nervously at the rapidly approaching creature. The Doctor stood postured, his eyes fierce with determination as he settled in his stance. He struggled to make eye contact with the creature, though, because the creature’s eyes were completely black and the Doctor couldn't quite tell if the being, which was still about 100 meters away, was even a living creature or some kind of alien tech. It definitely was far past Earth’s technology for the time. The Doctor stole a quick glance at Rose, but she still stood by his side faithfully. Her body was postured to run if need be, but he couldn't blame her for that. It was a normal reaction that he simply planned to ignore. The Bull creature was only about 20 meters away, and the Doctor caught Rose waiver slightly beside him as the Doctor began to give a silent, telepathic order for the creature to stop he felt himself being violently tackled from the side. As both he and the man who was now laying on top of him hit the wall roughly, he shoved the man off. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” He demanded, standing as he patted the dust off his favorite leather jacket. 

“Saving your life! Do you have a death wish? A thank you would be nice, though I don't suppose I'll ever get one from you,” the young man responded, shaking himself off. The Doctor was automatically queasy around him for some unknown reason. He focused in on the man’s timelines and found, to his great distrust and discomfort, that they were all WRONG. He couldn't even say why exactly. It just felt completely wrong and the Doctor was in a hurry to leave the human who gave off such a wrong time sense. The man was standing expectantly, arms crossed his chest. He was wearing a light blue button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up. His brown pants matched his suspenders and his hair was spiked in all the wrong places. “It's good to see you, and you're welcome by the way. It's been a while,” the man said slowly, watching the Doctor carefully. The Doctor huffed in response. 

“That's hardly an appropriate greeting for a stranger you just met who you proceeded to tackle to the ground, ruining a perfectly good plan,” he responded. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened, a future friend or acquaintance would recognize him and expect him to demand answers for his future self's deeds. “It's funny you did though,” he continued, “because I thought Rose might end up shoving me out of the street...wait. Rose? ROSE!” The Doctor called frantically, turning around just to spot her on the other side of the street. She was standing, thankfully and hadn't become roadkill to the bull who had simply trampled past. She was standing, yes, but she was standing completely and utterly still. The stranger followed the Doctor’s gaze across the road and was met with a sight for sore eyes, though by the look on her face Rose didn't feel the same way. 

“Rose!” He called, running over to her. The Doctor glared immediately, again taking alarmed note of the jealousy that was coursing through his veins. He barely knew Rose, especially this strange not-quite-human Rose from the future. He had no right to be jealous, and yet, he doubted the strange man who was oozing charm was anything but trouble so he quickly followed behind, preparing to protect Rose. He was shocked, however, when Rose shook herself out of her stupor and flashed a wide smile, wider than any he had seen or certainly any she had flashed him. The Doctor skidded to a halt as the two others collided in a hug. The man lifted Rose off the ground and twirled her gleefully. She responded with a youthful giggle that sounded more like it should come from the 19 year old shop girl than the 119 year old time traveler. 

Rose wasn't sure how to feel about seeing Captain Jack Harkness. She wasn't sure where in his personal timeline he was. Clearly it was some point after Game Station as he had never left their company between meeting them and dying on Game Station. She didn't know if he knew that he was immortal, or that she’d caused it. But despite all the worry and questions left unanswered, seeing her old friend brought her so much joy. Rose hadn't remembered how much Jack lit up her world. She supposed he had that effect on everyone. He was a clever, delightful con-man turned good guy and while she knew he had left his days of lying and cheating behind, he carried on that charming persona that has made him a successful baby model. While they embraced Rose also pondered the tidbit that John had shared with her...that Jack would somehow turn into the Face of Boe. It didn't surprise Rose somehow, though she added it to the list of things to investigate once she got back to her proper Doctor. 

“Oh Rosie! It's been too long,” Jack said into her hair as he finally released her from his firm embrace. 

“I know, Jack.”

“Care to enlighten me on how you two lovebirds know each other?” The Doctor chirped as he carefully placed himself between the two. Jack raised an eyebrow as he looked at Rose. 

“You mean you don't know me?” he asked the Doctor, crossing his arms. 

“If we've met, I wouldn't remember,” the Doctor replied haughtily. “I meet a lot of people.”

“Oh you would remember this,” Jack challenged as he leaned in to give the Doctor a kiss. The Doctor ducked away, flustered as Rose laughed hysterically. 

“Oi you two. We’re time travelers, the lot of us. We get mixed up sometimes. What's that you always say, Doctor? Time isn't linear...it's a wibbly wobbly, timey wimey ball of stuff,” Rose recited like a proud school girl. Both men gave her a look. 

“I would never say that, that's ridiculous. It sounds like child’s play,” the Doctor scoffed. 

“I kind of like it,” Jack disagreed. 

“Nevermind that. Are you trying to tell me he’s from my future? Your past?” The Doctor once again directed his question only at Rose. She nodded. 

“Yes. He's a good friend and if he's here, that means there's definitely something going on. He always follows trouble, just like us,” she confirmed. She didn't feel the need to elaborate further or go into any grand telling of their friendship. The Doctor would meet Jack soon enough. 

“I didn't know good friends deserted other friends on empty space stations with no way to get away,” Jack said quietly. Rose felt her heart break all over again. She pulled him into a hug immediately. 

“You'll get your explanation someday soon, I promise. He hasn't met you yet and I'm not the right one to tell you, but I promise we care about you. It was a terrible thing to do and I'm not saying it as right, but I need you to know it wasn't an easy decision for him,” Rose said. Jack stared at her for a few moments before nodding in silent agreement to put it aside for the time being. 

“Alright. Now that that’s all out of the way, Rosie I got to say...if it’s been as long for me as it has for you...DAMN you look good,” he charmed her and Rose laughed, pressing a kiss on his cheek. The moment her lips met his face, the Doctor felt his blood boil. That was crossing a line. He intervened immediately. 

“I think that’s enough of that. We did almost just get trampled by a giant bull creature which is not supposed to be here,” he said crossly, moving toward Rose. He had the ridiculous urge to wrap his arm around the young human. It had to be because of the suspicious man. That was all.

“Would you like me to remove that piece of alien junk out of your ass? It must have gotten stuck when the bull ran by,” Jack snickered. 

“And who says it’s alien? Looked like a machine to be, probably the handiwork of one of your stupid apes. Humans...always messing around with things they don’t understand,” he fumed. Jack raised an eyebrow as Rose let out a frustrated sigh.

“Did you see that thing? There’s no way that was some kind of cyber-bull. Technology in this year is nowhere near able to make an animatronic bull that is that life-like,” Jack argued in return.

As Jack and the Doctor bickered, Rose glanced around the cobblestone street which was now deserted. Considering the size of the beast which had run through only minutes before, the street wasn’t in too bad of shape. Her eyes were drawn to one spot where the stone had been ripped up. She approached the spot, the Doctor and Jack not noticing as they continued to argue over whether or not the bull could be of human creation. Rose knelt down at the stone, grimacing as she saw what had caused the damage. A large spike, much like a porcupine spine, lay on the ground, one end of it dripping with a dark red liquid she could only assume was blood.

“Doctor?” she called out, turning to glance back at the men. The argument ceased immediately as the leather-clad Doctor looked over to her and approached swiftly. 

“What’ve you got there?” he asked, crouching down beside her as Jack ambled over.

“Whatever it is, it’s organic...definitely not machine. Let’s take it back to the TARDIS, she can analyze it better than the sonic,” Rose commented. The Doctor paused for a moment. He knew this Rose was experienced in traveling with him, but it was odd to hear a young human girl casually refer to the TARDIS as a she and not as an it or a machine. After a moment of thought, he nodded in agreement and reached into one of his pockets for a cloth to pick the spike up with. He really didn’t know how much Rose knew or understood about him or his TARDIS, but he decided then and there that it was time to stop underestimating her.

“What did I tell ya, Doc? No machinery here,” Captain Jack clapped the Doctor on the back with a teasing smile.

“Don’t touch me,” the Time Lord growled instantly.

“Come on, Doctor, lighten up. You love me! Just ask Rosie,” he sent the blonde a wink and she made zero attempts to stifle her laughter. The Doctor only humphed in response as he finished wrapping the spike with the cloth. Without another word he took off for the TARDIS at a brisk pace. Rose and Jack followed at a more leisurely pace, Rose looping her arm with Jack. 

“Rose what happened to you? How long have you two been separated?” he asked quietly, slowing his pace and allowing the Doctor to get further ahead. “He acts like he doesn’t even trust you. When I left you guys, you were thick as thieves. He was planning to send you back to your mom…”

“It’s a long story Jack.”

“You know I’ve got forever,” he said seriously. Rose sighed, pinching her nose as she watched the Doctor grow smaller ahead of them.

“He’ll explain it better than I can when you meet him again, but he did send me away on the Game Station. Didn’t even give me a choice, but I wasn’t gonna stand for that so I did something stupid and the TARDIS and I worked together to come back for him and save you both,” she said softly.

“What do you mean you worked together with the TARDIS? She’s just a ship, Rose,” Jack responded.

“There is so much you don’t know or understand about her. She’s so much more than just a ship! Didn’t the Doctor ever tell you she’s alive?”

“I just thought he was talking about her being advanced,” Jack defended himself from her accusatory tone.

“No. The TARDIS is a living being, a creature that spans across 11 dimensions and has a heart that holds the entire time vortex. She and the Doctor can communicate telepathically I’m pretty sure. I don’t think they use words, but she’s very alive and she can feel and love and she loves him more than anyone in the world. So she helped me come back and she gave me what I needed to save him and while I was at it I saved you and killed all the Daleks. I just...I didn’t know what I was doing, Jack. I’m sorry. And I couldn’t handle it...it was going to kill me, but he took it from me and it killed him instead,” she explained.

“He’s dead? Why did you come back? Wait, if he’s dead then how am I going to meet him in the future? Rose, what can even kill a Time Lord?” Jack stopped walking and put both of his hands on her shoulders gently.

“No, the Doctor is still alive. Time Lord’s aren’t immortal...anything can kill them, it’s just that as long as their bodies have time to do so...they regenerate. I didn’t know anything about it until all the sudden he burst into light and flames and then all the sudden there was a strange man standing in his place, wearing his clothes, and asking me where we should go next. It took some getting used to and he was different, but deep down they’re all him. I think the one we’re with is his 9th body...maybe 10th. I never really got the answer to that question. Anyway I stayed with him and we kept traveling, and he told me you’d survived, but that you’d wanted to stay behind to rebuild the Earth. I didn’t question it then. I was too wrapped up in it all. Don’t worry, I gave him a good smack when I found out the truth years later,” she told him earnestly. They had begun walking again and were rapidly approaching the TARDIS, which the Doctor had already entered.

“So how did you end up here, away from him?”

“We accidentally ended up in a parallel universe, which he had always said was impossible. It was a universe without Time Lords since apparently they can only exist in one universe, but it was one where my Dad was still alive and I had never been born. I wanted to meet him and even though the Doctor thought it would be a bad idea, he let me. I...I don’t think I can tell you the rest because it’s still going to happen to you and you can’t block the memories like the Doctor can. Either way, something happened and I got trapped in that parallel universe with...a version of the Doctor. Not quite him, but someone very like him. His name was John and I married him,” Rose almost whispered, her eyes beginning to water again. Jack wrapped her in a hug immediately, willing the pain away from his friend. 

“I want to say that I’m glad you found someone that loved you as much as you love them, but that didn’t seem like a story with a happy ending, Rosie,” Jack commented softly. Rose sniffled once and shook her head.

“No. He died only a few months after our wedding. He was sick, destined not to survive, but I didn’t really believe it until he was gone. So then I was just trapped in an alternate universe with my alternate Dad, my mum, my new baby brother, and Mickey,” Rose explained.

“At least you had them.”

“People-

“Oi!” The Doctor shouted as he stuck his head out of the TARDIS. “If you two Chatty Cathy’s are done gossipping, we’ve got a city to save from an angry alien,” he called, giving them a pointed glance. Jack eyed Rose, clearly promising he’d demand the full story later. The two of them entered the TARDIS to find the Doctor staring intently at the monitor on the console. Rose tossed her jacket onto the railing and joined him at the consol out of habit. The Doctor stiffened and moved slightly away, so he could no longer feel the heat radiating from her small form. Rose noted his discomfort and moved back to the jumpseat, Jack standing near her.

“So? What’d you find?” Jack pressed.

“It’s definitely alien, from the planet Lepton. The tricky thing is that Lepton is about 5 galaxies away from here. So the question is where did it come from and how is it alive? Lepton’s atmosphere has almost no oxygen, it’s mostly nitrogen. That thing shouldn’t be able to survive on Earth,” the Doctor pondered aloud.

“A couple days before you guys showed up I tracked the creature to the park where the zoo is about 10 miles from here. It disappeared on me. But it’s a good enough place to start as any,” Jack commented. The Doctor hated to agree, but he couldn’t think of another place to start so he set the coordinates for the center of the park and jumped forward to just after closing. He didn’t want to snoop around while the place was crawling with humans. Rose slipped on her leather jacket and followed the men out of the TARDIS before looking around at the dark sky.

“Did you have to go forward so much? It’s bloody dark out here. How are we supposed to look for this thing when we can’t even see our own hands?” Rose asked crossly before she felt a warm rush of air tickle the hairs on the back of her neck. She froze instantly, sucking in a quick breath. Without moving anything except her mouth, she whispered:

“Doctor?” she hoped the tinge of pure panic in her voice would be enough to gain his attention and thankfully it did. He whipped around, eyes widening as the giant beast stood stock still behind Rose. The pink and yellow human slowed her breath and closed her eyes, willing her heart to slow down. The Doctor, superior biology and all, noted that she was actually effectively slowing her heartbeat and the smell of adrenaline faded. He was impressed with his future companion, though he couldn’t say where she’d learned it from. 

“Rose, don’t move,” he said slowly. She rolled her eyes, clearly not appreciating his obvious statement. He gingerly stepped forward, but the second he moved the Bull reared up on it’s hind legs, stretching it’s bat-like wings, and let out an unearthly roar. It’s front feet came pounding to the ground , shaking the ground around it as Rose only flinched, refusing to let her feet move further. 

“Doctor, don’t. I think I can see the problem,” Jack held a hand out. The Doctor scowled, but considered the reaction the bull had to his own movements and allowed Jack to take a step forward. Slowly, Jack bent at the waist, lower his head toward his feet in a reverent bow. The creature was still for a few painful seconds before it moved one leg backwards, placing its other front leg forward and dipping its massive head in a bow. As it did so, its wings folded back in and the spikes on its tail laid flat against the tail. 

“Alright Rosie, your turn. I don’t think he likes the Doc very much, so just bow...slowly,” Jack cautioned. Thinking he was absolutely insane, but trusting him implicitly, she followed his lead and the animal repeated its bow to her. 

“You should be alright to move a bit now,” Jack said. “But slowly still!”

She followed his advice and took a few steps toward the Doctor, who held a hand out to her. As soon as his hand was within her reach, she grasped it and he pulled her carefully toward her, wrapping her in an embrace almost instantly. He didn’t mean it to be emotional, he just wanted to make sure she was out of harm’s way. The beast stood still, staring at all of them as its breathing seemed to get more and more labored. 

“I think we’re seeing the effect of the copious oxygen,” the Doctor commented sadly. “Whatever was given to him to help him survive this atmosphere must be wearing off.”

“Mmm,” Rose nodded as they watched the creature lay down cautiously. “Jack! How did you know that would work?”

“Honestly? I didn’t, but Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban just came out...so I re-read it cuz why not and I remembered the scene with Buckbeak. I felt like it was worth a try. Clearly the animal is hurt and confused, maybe it just needed us to not threaten it,” he reasoned. 

“You risked her life on a hunch from a Harry Potter book!” The Doctor roared, though he immediately regretted it as the bull stumbled back onto his feet and roared in return.

“Doctor, please. I think it’s feeding off our emotional energy. Are their any telepathic species on Lepton?” Rose begged him to calm down and just like that, he did. Because she had asked. 

“Not telepathic, but you’re right. Leptonians are empaths. They’re whole culture and society is built on emotional exchange. It would make sense that their creatures are similarly affected. But why would someone bring this poor animal 5 galaxies away and drop it here to die?” he questioned as the bull fell back down to the ground, its breathing becoming even more labored. Rose approached it cautiously, ignoring the Doctor’s protests. She just couldn’t watch it suffer alone. 

“Shhhhh,” she soothed as she approached, lowering herself to her knees at the beast’s side. She lifted a hand to stroke the beast’s head, crafting her own version of the TARDIS’ song to hum to the suffering creature. The Doctor watched the odd human, listening carefully to the melody that flowed from her lips. Her presence and song had an instant calming effect on the beast. It pushed its head further into her hand and let it’s eyes fall closed. The trio waited in silence for a few minutes before the beast was still. When there was no more rising and falling of the large creature’s chest, Rose felt tears fall to her cheeks.

“He’s gone,” she confirmed. Jack and the Doctor approached, Jack placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. The Doctor held the sonic screwdriver up and the little machine whirred to life. Rose bit her tongue down to keep from scolding the Doctor. If it had been her Doctor, one that truly knew her, she would have slapped him across the face for being so insensitive about a life ending, but this Doctor didn’t know her. This Doctor was fresh from the Time War and ad very little ability to be sensitive about anything. 

“So?” Jack questioned, his eyes narrowing at the Doctor.

“Definitely Leptonian, but there are other traces here. I don’t think it was actually from Lepton. I’m getting strong traces of uranium, but there isn’t any uranium on Lepton,” the Doctor answered, listening to the results of the scan as Rose continued to absently stroke the creature.

“Does Lepton export anything?” she asked quietly.

“Yes, I think they’re the largest source of several food products within their galaxy, but-

“There,” she pointed to the creature’s back flank. “It’s a brand, yeah? BW.”

“B.W. hmmm, it could be the Bad Wolf farming corporation. I didn’t know they exported this far,” the Doctor hummed in response. Rose froze and shared a glance with an equally panicked Jack. 

“What did you say?” Jack stuttered a bit.

“Bad Wolf. You’ve heard of them, I’m sure. Massive company stretching across at least 2 galaxies. But they must be dabbling in something more dangerous because they won’t be around for several thousand years,” the Doctor explained. Jack opened his mouth to say something, but Rose gave a subtle shake of her head. This Doctor didn’t know anything about Bad Wolf, but if she had had something to do with this...it must have been for a reason. 

“So that’s it then? Just a stray bull that got lost in an intergalactic export. That’s cruel,” Rose said, feeling the hot anger build somewhere deep in heart. She took a deep breath, trying to calm it down. With all the mentions of Bad Wolf, she just didn’t want to take any chances. 

“Suppose so,” the Doctor replied, seemingly not noticing her anger. 

“I mean to just leave a creature to suffer and die in a strange world? Who does something like that?” Rose said through gritted teeth. Her memories flickered to John and how his body had reacted similarly being in a strange universe. The anger in her heart began to spread and Rose continued to try to calm it down.

“They probably didn’t notice and by the time they did, the animal would have been dead anyway,”

“Well that’s probably the most anti-climactic ending to a case ever,” Jack pouted a bit in a vain attempt to change the subject.

“I wouldn’t be too sure. We have to get this animal in my ship so we can deliver it back to Lepton. So you wanna use those puny human muscles you’re always flexing and grab an end?” the Doctor scoffed as Jack looked offended. 

“We should get something to put underneath it,” Rose commented, feeling the warmth move from her heart all the way down to her hands.

“Right, I’ll grab that and be back in a jiff,” the Doctor agreed before turning and dashing into the TARDIS. Rose let out the breath she had been holding as she looked down to see her hands glowing a vibrant gold. 

“Jack,” she whispered fearfully. He glanced over and his eyes widened.

“Rosie-

The hum of the TARDIS echoed suddenly in her head, reassuring her and calming her nerves. Rose didn’t really understand why, but somehow she knew what she was supposed to do. She placed both hands on the creature and breathed deeply, letting the warmth from herself flow into the creature. She and Jack watched as the creature shimmered gold for a moment before completely disappearing. Rose knew better, as memories were thrown back into her mind of the Dalek’s being torn apart particle by particle and disappearing similarly in flashes of gold vortex energy. A second later the Doctor exited the TARDIS, large tarp in hand. 

“Where did it go?” he asked suspiciously, eyes narrowing at Jack.

“Don’t look at me!” Jack defended, raising his hands in the air.

“It just disappeared,” Rose said blankly. The Doctor didn’t look like he believed her for a second, but he let it it go. The poor girl was clearly panicked. 

“Well I guess we’d better get back on our way, Rose,” the Doctor said her name pointedly, holding his hand out.

“Wait, you guys are just gonna leave me behind?” Jack asked, his eyes staring at Rose with the added word...Again.

“M’sorry Jack. You’ve got to stay here. He’ll need you again,” Rose whispered before taking the Doctor’s hand and following him worldlessy into the TARDIS. If she had been in her right mind, she would have said a better goodbye. She would have fought harder to take Jack with them. But Rose was in full panic mode. And it was all she could to move one foot in front of the other again and again until she was finally at her room. Blessedly the Doctor didn’t stop to question her. He just let her exit gracefully. He really didn’t understand Rose Tyler.


	4. So What Now?

**Author’s Note: I’m shifting the author’s note to the beginning, because I just want to make sure you guys see it! First off...I am SO sorry that this chapter has taken me so long to write. I’m a very slow writer, and I don’t give myself a buffer when publishing so you guys get stuff as soon as I finish it. THANK YOU for your continued support and encouragement. It honestly means the world to me! I promise that while it may take me several weeks/months to update each chapter, I am always working on this story!**

 

**Also just some notes about this chapter. I ended up taking it in a very different direction than I thought it would go originally. Both Rose and the Doctor are hurting, and it’s time for them to be vulnerable with each other. This is a side of 9 that we don’t get to see much of in the TV show. I also touch on Rose’s ex-boyfriend Jimmy Stone. There’s not a ton of canon information about Jimmy, so I did make some stuff up. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Without further ado, please enjoy Chapter Four!**

* * *

Rose’s eyes drifted closed before her body had even thumped heavily onto her bed. The TARDIS dimmed the lights automatically and Rose found herself once again in the beautiful garden, the human image of the TARDIS standing before her.

 

“What was that?” Rose demanded, feeling the panic rise in her again. The graceful woman wrapped her arms around the little human and hummed a calming noise.

 

“Hush now, my little Wolf. All in good time. The first thing I need you to do is to calm down and remain calm. Can you do that for me, Rose?” she asked, lifting Rose’s chin so that their eyes met. Rose nodded silently. “Good. It’s very important to always stay calm and in control, especially while you’re still learning the extent of your abilities.”

 

“Will you please explain to me what happened? I got so angry and then there was this white-hot burning in my hands and they were glowing...like...like Huon particles.” Rose pulled away from the human TARDIS as she paced a few steps, trying to remember exactly what had happened just a few moments ago. 

 

“Yes, that’s what you were seeing Rose. When you took in my heart all those years ago, the Vortex merged with your DNA. Vortex energy is comprised of lots of different things, including lots of huon particles and those particles took over your DNA and made you a being of time. But beings of time, such as myself, are not meant to be trapped in human bodies. There is too much energy and too much potential energy to be held into a physical form like that. The Doctor knew that and he knew that the Bad Wolf would destroy your body so he took in the Vortex energy, and it killed him,” the beautiful lady explained. 

 

“Right, you went over that bit last time, but what does that mean about now? Why have I never done anything like that before?” Rose pleaded.

 

“Well the small amount of Vortex energy that was left behind was locked away in a small portion of your mind for years. But the huon particles had still merged with your DNA and it was enough to keep you from aging and to protect your human form in order to protect the being of time trapped inside. When you traveled through the void again and I helped bring you home to me, the Vortex energy was released from where it had been trapped. But over the past hundred years, the huon particles now merged with your DNA have been slightly altering your body so that it could properly contain the Vortex energy,” the human TARDIS explained. Rose was surprised to find that she had very little trouble understanding what the TARDIS said. Even though she had spent her 100 years on Pete’s Earth as a Torchwood agent, she hadn’t learned much about the Vortex or huon particles because there just wasn’t any information available. But she supposed it was a side effect of the particles running through her that she was able to understand things easier now.

 

“But if the Vortex energy has been released from my mind, why am I not full on ‘Goddess of Time’ already? My memories from Game Station are still pretty fuzzy, but from what you told me I’d think I’d be breaking all the laws of time by now,” Rose asked. The TARDIS smiled and reached a hand up to stroke Rose’s cheek gently. 

 

“My Thief took most of that energy out of you, and only a small portion remains. That small portion is enough to give you barely a glimpse of the kind of power Bad Wolf herself harnesses. It will feel powerful to you, but compared to the pure Bad Wolf...it is very minimal. When you and I merged, you could see the entire Vortex: all that ever was, all that ever will be, and all that ever could be or could have been. You will never be able to see the Vortex like that again because it is still too powerful, but you will likely begin to sense timelines and fixed points. It won’t be as strong as what the Doctor can sense as a Time Lord, but you will learn to hone in on things. What you just experienced with the bull...well that is something only Bad Wolf could do. As Bad Wolf you utilized your knowledge of the universe to break entire organisms down to the molecular level, dispersing them and wiping them from time and space altogether. Bad Wolf was able to do that on a catastrophic scale...it seems that ability remains, but on a much...much smaller scale. That is a dangerous ability, Rose, and I urge you not to use it ever again. Much like my Thief, your grief can sometimes drive you to do dangerous things. It is wrong,” the TARDIS chided gently.

 

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry! I didn’t want to hurt it, I just…I wanted to end its suffering,” Rose whimpered. The TARDIS pulled her small frame in for a hug and soothed her with a low hum.

 

“I know, my Wolf. That is why you and I shall explore your abilities together so you can learn what they are and most importantly...learn to control them. I think you will also find that you are able to manipulate the Vortex and travel through it without the assistance of a device. If we can perfect that ability… that’s how you’ll get back to your Doctor...in the proper moment in his timeline. I’m not sure what other ways the huon particles have affected you, but clearly they have altered your DNA. It might be best to run a scan on you to see exactly what it has done. We’ll do that when you wake, just sneak to the med bay while I occupy the Doctor with some repairs. He’s always meddling about anyway!” the TARDIS laughed, throwing her head back. The sound was like a dozen delicate bells chiming in the wind and Rose smiled.

 

“He is, isn’t he? I should hide that mallet from him so he’ll stop hitting you,” Rose murmured. The TARDIS laughed again. 

 

“Now are you ready to get started with some practice? I want to see if you can peek into the Timelines that are already within your mind,” the TARDIS walked toward the stone bench which was somehow part of the garden in Rose’s mind. Rose couldn’t remember if it had always been there, or if one of them had unconsciously put it there. TARDIS sat down and patted the seat next to her. Rose obliged and joined her, taking the hands that were offered. TARDIS squeezed her pink and yellow human’s hands. “Close your eyes, my Wolf,” she commanded softly. Once again, Rose obliged.

 

“I want you to look deep within your own mind. The timelines are likely buried in the back corners of your mind. I’m going to guide you there telepathically, but you’ll need to move things yourself to get to things you’ve buried. I can’t do that for you,” the TARDIS spoke, her voice soothing Rose as a warm, yellow glow filled her mind. 

 

“Right now, we’re seeing your mind in it’s most neutral state. It’s just waiting to act. This is very advanced, Rose. Most people cannot calm their minds to such a clear state. Is this something that you have practiced before?” 

 

“Can’t say I’ve done this particularly, but I did learn to meditate back on Pete’s World. I needed it to stay sane,” Rose admitted and as she spoke, the yellow glow in her mind receded as memories from her life began to flood in. 

 

“Clearly I can’t keep it that way for long,” Rose chuckled a little. The TARDIS murmured her agreement.

 

“That’s alright, just focus on getting back to that place and staying there until I guide you elsewhere.” 

 

Rose did as she was told and took a deep breath. Instead of focusing on trying to accomplish something in her brain, she simply focused on how the golden warmth felt as it reached into the deepest corners of her mind. She waited patiently for instruction from the TARDIS, but the TARDIS said nothing to her. Instead she felt a gentle presence join her in her mind and visually guide her through corridors...for lack of a better word. Rose felt like they were traveling through her mind for hours, passing doorways and other passages that she pointedly ignored, until they stopped at a simple door...as blue as the TARDIS herself. 

 

“You’ve already cleared your mind more than I assumed you would be able to on your own. All that stands between you and the remaining essence of Bad Wolf is this door. I want you to try to open it, but if it does not open easily, then I need you to stop. Like fruit on a tree, we’ll only be able to open this door when your mind is ready. If we push too quickly too soon, there could be disastrous consequences,” the TARDIS murmured to her. Rose nodded, though she knew that she didn’t need to physically acknowledge the warning. It was easy for her to imagine herself in that hallway, reaching out to the doorknob of that bright blue door. As soon as she touched the door, her hand stung as if she’d touched a hot stove. She jerked her hand away immediately, a hiss of pain escaping her lips as she did.

 

“That’s alright Rose. Your subconscious isn’t ready to release the Bad Wolf just yet. You may not be ready to handle the full abilities that she’ll give you. Even though it will only be a shadow of what the Bad Wolf was once capable of, it will still be much more than your human body was ever built to understand. So you will need more time,” the TARDIS explained gently. Rose stood a few feet away from the elusive door, fighting the urge to try to open it again. She trusted her TARDIS. And she trusted herself, most of the time at least. When she was ready to welcome her Bad Wolf self again, she would know. 

 

“So what does that mean for me?” Rose murmured, wandering away from that long hallway back to the main room in her mind...a room that she now recognized as a golden version of the console room.

 

“It means you continue to spend time with this version of the Doctor. Help him heal. Though he will have to forget these memories for quite some time, his spirits will remain lifted even when the memories go. You’ll be able to prepare him for his adventures with your past self. I don’t think that you ever realized how important his time with you was 100 years ago. He met you when he was so broken after the Time War. I know your John Smith explained some pieces of it to you, but this particular Doctor needs someone beside him more than he would ever admit. It’s time for you to wake up and face him Rose. Be honest with him. He can help you just as much as you can help him,” the TARDIS caressed her mind.

 

“Thank you. I wish we could speak like this when I’m awake. It would be such a help,” Rose laughed lightly as she once again sat on the stone bench in her private mind garden. 

 

“Perhaps that is something Bad Wolf will grant us. But for now, you’ll have to rely on our Doctor for companionship. Don’t forget to sneak to the medbay at some point soon, and I’ll assist you through a scan. Until next time you rest, my little wolf,” the human TARDIS pressed a gentle kiss on Rose’s forehead and a moment later Rose woke up in her bed, feeling rested and significantly more calm. She stretched her muscles for a moment before wandering off to her en suite, determined to at least take a shower before facing the Doctor. The TARDIS had assured her that she could be honest with the Doctor, so she no longer felt panicked about messing up the timelines. 

 

After a painfully quick shower, Rose dressed in the simple jeans and blouse waiting for her in her room. She’d surrendered all of her wardrobe choices to the TARDIS and didn’t regret it. Rose never knew what her day was going to become, but the TARDIS always had something sensible for her. Quietly, she departed her room and wandered to the library, where the Doctor was searching a shelf intently. 

 

“Doctor?” she called. His head snapped up in immediate response. He set down the book he was holding and joined her near the comfy chairs in the reading nook. 

 

“Did you sleep well then? Humans always rushing off to sleep! You weren’t gone for quite as long this time,” the Doctor commented, settling into his favorite arm chair. Rose smiled fondly as she sat in the other chair, tucking her legs under her and wishing desperately she’d thought to make a cuppa before finding him.

 

“Yes, I was exhausted, but all rested now! I was wondering, though, before we go zipping off to the next planet...could we chat for a bit?” she pulled her lower lip between her teeth nervously, unable to make eye contact with him. 

 

“A whole universe to explore and you’d like to waste time chatting. Typical!” he scoffed. Rose raised her eyes and fixed him with a look.

 

“We’re in the Vortex, yeah? There’s nothing but time!” 

 

“Time and voidstuff!” the Doctor replied.

 

“Stop being cheeky, I’m trying to have a serious talk with you,” Rose admonished. The Doctor sobered up quickly, his grin fading. Rose felt her heart break a little as she watched his face harden. Even though she knew he was hiding behind a mask even when he was smiling, it hurt to see him so somber. 

 

“Something happened, with the creature. It didn’t just disappear…” she started.

 

“I didn’t think it would. And it didn’t come back to life and walk away, now did it?” the Doctor raised an eyebrow at her. He wasn’t being snappy, but she could tell he expected an honest answer.

 

“I’m still not very sure what happened, but it’s not the first time I’ve seen something like that happen. I just didn’t remember before,” Rose said vaguely. The Doctor didn’t respond, but motioned with his hands for her to continue.

 

“I was upset...angry about what someone had done to that poor animal. Just dropped it and left it to die in an unfamiliar world, scared and alone. I know what that feels like and I suppose I have a lot more unresolved anger about it than I originally thought,” she admitted. The Doctor opened his mouth to defend himself, but she cut him off.

 

“I’m not blaming you. Like I said, I can’t be angry at you for things you haven’t even done yet. I’m just angry still. And I let that anger get out of control and next thing I knew my hands were glowing gold...and the bull was sort of evaporating. And it was gone, in just a few moments,” Rose explained.

 

“Evaporating?” the Doctor’s eyebrows clenched together in confusion. 

 

“No I don’t suppose that’s the right word. Disintegrated is a better term. Molecule by molecule, atom by atom. Dispersed out of existence entirely,” Rose admitted quietly. After her dream-meeting with the TARDIS she knew exactly what she had done to the strange animal. 

 

“And you say you’ve seen this before?” the Doctor prompted.

 

“Well when I told you about how I got here a few days ago, I sort of glossed over that bit when I looked into the heart of the TARDIS, yeah?” Rose glanced down again, staring at her hands.

 

“Yeah, you did. And I still can’t believe you ripped open my TARDIS like that and I still don’t understand how you didn’t die,” the Doctor replied forcefully. Rose a deep breath and forced herself to look at him. His blue eyes bore into hers unforgivingly. While the Doctor was happy to mask his own grief in layers of sarcasm and pompousness, he didn’t waste a chance to tear down Rose’s emotional barriers. 

 

“When I looked into the heart of the TARDIS, I absorbed quite a bit of Vortex energy. She and I sort of merged and became one...we created a being called the Bad Wolf. We’re still not quite sure what Bad Wolf was, but I suppose you could call her a Goddess of Time. I had unimaginable powers to manipulate space, time, and everything in existence. To save Earth and protect you, I disintegrated the entire Dalek fleet...including the Emperor. But I couldn’t stop there, and you knew the Vortex energy would kill me quickly so you absorbed and that’s what killed you,” Rose explained. The Doctor was quiet.

 

“And like I said before, I later found out that some of the Vortex energy stayed behind...the TARDIS thinks that when I’m ready, I’ll be able to access a tiny bit of Bad Wolf’s power again. Nothing like before, but after today...I think I can safely agree that Bad Wolf is still very much a part of Rose Tyler.”

 

“What do you mean the TARDIS thinks you’ll be ready? How are you communicating with her? You’re not telepathic. I would be able to sense that, because I’m telepathic,” the Doctor reached out with his mind, but just like always he was unable to sense any other telepathic signatures besides the TARDIS.

 

“I think we have a special connection. I’ve never had any other inkling that I might be telepathic with other beings. Just the TARDIS because she and I...and Bad Wolf I suppose, are all mixed up. When I go to sleep the TARDIS joins me in my dreams...in a human form so that she can speak to me. She’s been explaining things, trying to make it easier,” Rose told him honestly. She watched the Doctor sit in silence for exactly 2 minutes and 27 seconds. Mentally, Rose added acute time sense to her list of things she could now do that she could never do before. Sense time passing even without consciously counting. 

 

“I’ve...well I’ve never heard of anything like that with any TARDIS before. She’s alive and all, but she’s not human or Time Lord or anything like that...I didn’t even realize she was this complex,” the Doctor finally admitted. The room jolted for a moment. The TARDIS was offended. 

 

“Alright, alright Old Girl. I’m sorry, but it’s true! I know she’s a multi-dimensional being, but this is beyond anything I’ve ever…” he trailed off suddenly. 

 

“What is it Doctor?” Rose asked, feeling concern rise. 

 

“Maybe I have heard of something like this before. I was looking for an old book before you came in here...a children’s book from Galifrey. The Time Lords were often considered gods by different species and being as pompous as they were, they didn’t worship many gods themselves. But there was a children’s story...a fairytale about a Goddess of Time. I’d forgotten it centuries ago. Afterall, it was taught as make believe to children on Galifrey. I thought it was nonsense, but maybe…” he trailed off again as he got up from his chair, darting in and out of the shelves in search of the book he mentioned. Rose watched him casually, but her eyes were drawn to a shelf on the opposite end of the room. 

 

Wordlessly she got up and approached the TARDIS blue book, whose spine was rimmed with gold. She pulled it off the shelf to find that the cover had an old Galifreyan title etched in gold, and beneath that a beautifully delicate etched rose. 

 

“Doctor?” she called. His head popped around the shelf, and his eyes caught sight of the book in her hands.

 

“That’s it! I never remembered the name of it, but there it is…. _ Bad Wolf.  _ It’s...it’s got to be about you,” he concluded as he approached, taking the book gently from her hands. He opened the book and began to read the first page.

  
“It is said that at the beginning of time itself, there was a Goddess who harnessed the very power of time and space. It was laced through her very being, coursing through each strand of her DNA. A being made purely of time. The Bad Wolf, she is called, for she creates herself in every universe,” the Doctor read.

 

“What did you say?” Rose startled.

 

“The Bad Wolf, she is called, for she creates herself in every universe,” the Doctor repeated. A rush of memories flooded back to Rose all in a moment. It startled her and she stumbled back a few steps.

 

“Rose! Are you alright?” the Doctor questioned in alarm, reaching out to steady her. Rose shook her head lightly and opened her eyes. The Doctor’s mouth fell open in surprise. Her eyes were glowing gold. It wasn’t that subtle gold that always flickered in her irises, but a pure, glowing light. She blinked and the gold was reduced again to the occasional flicker. 

 

“I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take these words; I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here,” Rose quoted the memory. “That’s what I said when I came to save you from the Daleks. I guess this book...this story...is just another place I deposited those words. Bad Wolf really weaved herself into every moment of your life, Doctor,” Rose gave a half-hearted laugh. The Doctor didn’t find it so amusing, but he tried to quiet the panic that he felt. 

 

What had this poor human girl gone through? He let the doubt and worries consume him. Perhaps he should just try to get this version of Rose home and not allow her to continue searching for him. Perhaps he should refuse to look these memories away and break the paradox, save Rose Tyler from ever becoming the Bad Wolf. He knew that breaking paradoxes was supposed to be impossible, but after meeting Rose Tyler...did he even know how to define that word anymore? The Doctor was, after all, a very clever Time Lord and if anyone could figure out how to break a paradox without the entire multiverse collapsing, it would be him. 

 

Even if there were disastrous consequences for him, he would take that risk. He would risk anything for Rose Tyler. And that almost troubled him more than the whole Goddess of Time business. How could he allow himself to form such an intense connection with a human? He had only ever known Rose Tyler as a young, human girl...even his future self...and yet somehow every fiber of his being recognized a profound connection to her. He imagined that had something to do with Bad Wolf as well. Curse it all. He was going around in circles and so trapped in his own worry that he didn’t even notice Rose guiding him to his chair and gently pushing him into it. She snapped her fingers in his face sharply and he jolted out of his thoughts.

 

“Doctor!” she snapped again.

 

“What? Sorry, just...a bit preoccupied,” he murmured.

 

“What has you so worried?” Rose questioned quietly.

 

“Worried? Who said I was worried? I’m not a worrier, not me. I try to worry as little as possible. It’s really a waste of time,” he rambled a bit.

 

“You ramble when you’re trying to distract me, Doctor. I’ve known some version of you for a very long time now. I know I’m still a perfect stranger to you, but please don’t hide from me,” Rose begged.

 

“You’re not a stranger.”

 

“What?”

 

“That’s just it. You, Rose Tyler, are not a stranger to me. I’ve known you for less than the equivalent of one Earth week. And yet, I  _ know _ you. I feel as though I know you almost better than I know myself. I suppose that’s not saying a lot considering I’ve been feeling a bit lost since...well, since everything recently. I had companions, many companions, before I met you. Humans, Galifreyans, even Cybermen...I’ve known so many people, Rose Tyler. And yet even those who I’ve known for essentially my entire life...I never knew them as deeply as I know you. But we’ve only just met. How can that be possible?” the Doctor fumbled through his words. For once, he didn’t know exactly how to say what he was trying to say.

 

“I suppose it’s not,” Rose agreed.

 

“And yet it’s true.”

 

“I suppose it is.”

 

“Rose Tyler, you are utterly impossible,” the Doctor grinned for a moment, and Rose returned his genuine smile eagerly. 

 

“I’ve been told that many times before. Now tell me, Doctor, since we’re clearly not strangers. What has you so worried?” Rose tried to gently pry into the Doctor’s mind. She never would have attempted this kind of conversation with her big-eared Doctor in her first timeline with him, but the TARDIS had assured her that this Doctor needed her. So she was going to do everything she could to help him. Rose was more than a bit surprised to see the Doctor think for a moment, and not immediately shut down.

 

“I’m thinking I should drop you off somewhere and run...and never stop running,” the Doctor finally admitted. Rose fought against the sting in her heart. She knew he didn’t intend to hurt her.

 

“Why?” she asked simply. 

 

“Because all of this...Bad Wolf, you changing, being tethered to me forever… that’s all because I blew up your job and invited you to travel with me. I should have let you be when you said no. Why would I ever go back and ask again? I never ask again.”

 

“Probably because I make you. Doctor, it’s all a big, tangled mess. I know that. But I don’t think there's any universe where you and I don’t meet. And no possible future where our timelines don’t become intertwined,” Rose spoke softly, encouraging the Doctor to continue the dialogue.

 

“Well Time Lords only exist in this universe. This is the original Universe, Universe Prime if you’d like. The Time Lords are the ones who created alternate universes. Really they were just timelines that diverged and the Time Lords sealed them into their own little worlds to keep this universe simple. So an alternate version of you could never meet an alternate version of me, because I only exist in this Universe,” the Doctor explained. Rose had a feeling that she only existed in this universe too, but she didn’t want to open up that conversation just yet.

 

“Well I exist here, and now. And Bad Wolf can’t be undone, so please stop thinking you can try to abandon me at every turn. I can’t live like that and I won’t. I need you to understand something, Doctor. I need you to get it through your thick head, okay?” Rose’s tone grew firm as she sat up straighter in her chair. The Doctor nodded silently. 

 

“I have lived 119 years.  I have experienced unimaginable pain, both physical and emotional. I have many regrets, but I have never...not even for the slightest moment...regretted meeting you. I have never once regretted taking your hand and running for the stars. Do you know how many opportunities you gave me to leave? Long before the Daleks invaded, and long before I ever became Bad Wolf. Before I tied our timelines together. You wanted me to leave even before then. You never pushed me out, but you were constantly asking me if I wanted to leave. You always said it was for my safety. I think you had yourself convinced I’d be better off living a normal life,” Rose spoke. She saw the Doctor begin to interrupt, but she held her hand up.

 

“But what I never told you...is that a lot of the pain I had experienced came in my first 19 years of life, before I met you. I didn’t just run away with you to explore the universe. I ran away from a life I wanted to forget and never go back to,” Rose told him. She paused, taking a deep breath. She hoped he wouldn’t ask more, but she knew that he would.

 

“What do you mean, Rose?” the Doctor questioned gently. 

 

“Well you know it’s just me and Mum back on Earth, when you met me. I eventually told you about my dad and how he died when I was a baby. Mum never made much money, so we lived in trash neighborhoods my whole life. It was hard,” Rose started.

 

“Rose Tyler, I’m sure growing up in poverty was tough, but it’s a far cry from the kind of danger you’ve been in since absorbing the Time Vortex to save a 900 year old alien,” the Doctor pointed out. Rose shook her head.

 

“You haven’t...you didn’t let me finish,” she said. Her voice was suddenly very small and the Doctor wondered what she hadn’t bothered to tell him when she was re-telling her story. 

 

“I’ve never told you about this part of my life...I’ve never really told any version of you. Not even the version I married. We had so little time together as it was… “ Rose struggled to continue, feeling a long-forgotten panic rise in her chest. The Doctor leaned forward in his chair, placing a gentle hand on her back to comfort her.

 

“It’s alright, Rose. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not here to force you,” the Doctor reminded her.

 

“No. I need you to understand once and for all. If I explain this to you now, when you re-access your memories at some point in the future...I won’t have to go over this conversation again,” she said firmly.

 

“Alright, but I feel like you could use a cuppa and maybe somewhere more comforting to sit? I’ll grab us some tea and why don’t you meet me in the media room? There’s a couch in there that’s much better than this old armchair,” the Doctor offered. Rose nodded and he dashed off quickly. It only took him exactly 4 minutes and 13 seconds to join her in the media room. The TARDIS had provided several plush pillows and a cozy throw blanket on the couch, which Rose had already snuggled herself into. The Doctor offered her a steaming mug, which she gratefully accepted. He settled onto the couch next to her, closer than she imagined he might. She clutched the warm mug between both hands and the Doctor waited patiently for her to resume her story.

 

“Like I said...it was before I met you. I had a tough time growing up and because of that, I didn’t have a lot of self worth. My mum, bless her, did her best, but she’s always been pretty critical and we didn’t have a great relationship. We fought pretty harshly, especially when I was a teenager,” Rose began, pausing to take a sip of tea. 

 

“When I turned 16, I went to this club with my friend Shireen and a band was playing. The guitarist was cute and he kept making eye contact with me during his whole performance. After they finished, he came up to me and introduced himself. Jimmy Stone. He was 19 at the time and told me I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. I’m sure you can imagine that for a girl with no self-worth and a lot of anger, those were the magic words. We started dating even though everyone in my life warned me to cut it out. He was charming and talented, and older, ya know? That’s part of why my mom was so against me traveling with you when she met you. I think she was worried I’d fall into the same pattern.”

 

“The pattern of dating older men?” the Doctor teased, trying to lighten the conversation a little. It didn’t work.

 

“Not exactly. Anyway after a few months Jimmy asked me to go on the road with him and his band. I wasn’t done with school...almost, but not yet. I still had to sit for my A-levels, but I had never done well and I didn’t think I was smart enough to pass them anyway. So I told my mom that I was gonna quit and start travelling with Jimmy and that we were probably gonna get married one day,” Rose laughed bitterly, shaking her head. 

 

“I’m sure it seemed sensible at the time,” the Doctor tried, in vain, to comfort her.

 

“Well my mum didn’t take to that very kindly. We had a huge fight and she told me if I left, I better never come back. So I did. I left with Jimmy that night with a backpack full of clothes and the couple hundred dollars I had saved up. We had a shabby little bedsit on the other side of town that we stayed in when he wasn’t doing gigs around London. I cut my friends out of my life and just threw myself into my relationship with Jimmy. It didn’t take more than a few weeks for my savings to dry out. Jimmy liked to drink and smoke and do...other things too. I started working as a waitress at a pub...had to lie about my age at first to get the job, but that money didn’t stretch very far either,” Rose told him, once again skating over the finer details. 

 

“What other things Rose?” the Doctor asked gently. 

 

“Drugs. I don't really know what kinds. I tried to stay out of it as much as I could,” Rose answered honestly.

 

“But Jimmy got angry when there wasn’t money for things. And because he was the  _ talented _ one, I was supposed to be the money maker. He wasn’t a very nice guy when he was angry...especially when he was drunk or jonesing for drugs. He started to push me around. Nothing too bad. He’d always apologize when he woke up and felt more sensible,” Rose said, feeling the tears prick at her eyes. 

 

“Rose,” the Doctor started in a low voice.

 

“No, please, let me finish. I was scared, even from the start, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. I had no money...couldn’t manage to hide anything to save either. I had nothing and I didn’t think my mother or my friends would ever let me back into their lives. So I stayed, and I tried to make the best out of it. I worked as many odd jobs as I could, tried to keep him happy. I stayed for two years. The...the abuse escalated, nothing more painful, just more frequent. He started pushing me around even when he was sober and he stopped apologizing. I couldn’t keep up with his spending. I was borrowing money from people left and right, anyone that would give me money. But eventually people started realizing I didn’t pay them back so they stopped loaning me money. I think I was 2 months behind in rent and 800 quid in debt by the end of it,” Rose took a deep breath, getting ready to finish the story.

 

“At one of his shows, Mickey showed up and told me my mum was sorry and wanted me to come back. I could have cried I was so happy, but Jimmy didn’t like the idea of me leaving very much. He saw me talking to Mickey and after the show, he came over and started a massive bar fight by punching Mickey in the face. Poor Mick was just trying to help me. I tried to get in between them, but ended up taking a few nasty punches to the face and the ribs...got a black eye, a bruised cheekbone, and 2 fractured ribs out of it. The police came and broke up the fight, took Jimmy in cuz he had a warrant on him for theft or something. Last I heard he was still in prison,” Rose said, wanting to ease the Doctor’s worry about Jimmy Stone right away. 

 

“That was my chance, though. And I took it. I went back home and my mother welcomed me back. She and Mickey helped pay off my debts and get me that job at Hendricks. I started dating Mickey because I didn’t feel safe on the street. And I knew Mickey would do anything for me. Jimmy wasn’t gonna stay locked up forever and I was terrified of him,” Rose confessed.

 

“Oh Rose,” the Doctor murmured, taking her tea out of her hands so that he could envelope her in a hug. Rose stiffened in surprise for only a moment before she crumpled into his arms, finally letting the tears fall.

 

“I know it seems silly. After everything and after 100 years to be scared of an ex-boyfriend, but I’m not proud of that part of my life and that’s why when you gave me the chance to see the stars I had to hesitate first. Because I felt like I owed my mum and Mickey for saving my life, and when you asked again...I let that go because I just wanted to leave and never look back. My mum was constantly reminding me about how badly I’d screwed up my life and I felt like I had to stay with Mickey even though I was never happy with him either...you gave me a whole new life and I can’t ever thank you enough,” Rose told the Doctor earnestly once their hug had ended. 

 

“There is nothing remotely silly about being frightened of someone who hurt you. People who pretend to have no fear are idiots, Rose. Everyone has fears, even me,” he told her honestly. Rose offered him a half smile and his hearts warmed to see her feeling even a little better. 

 

“Do you understand now, why you can never blame yourself for everything that’s happened? You could have pushed me away a million times and I would have found a way to stow aboard the TARDIS. I needed to run more than you did, I think,” Rose laughed slightly. The Doctor nodded and the pair sat quietly for quite some time. 3 hours, 7 minutes, and 40 seconds to be exact. 

 

“How about another adventure then?” the Doctor finally asked. Rose’s tears had long since dried up and she smiled up at him with a glimmer in her golden eyes.

 

“Let’s run, Doctor!”


End file.
